liberté, egalité, transféminisme

i revel in my material reality specifically because a) I have no other options (and therefore must learn to transmute it into joy etc. lest I fall into the pit of despair), and b) it pisses off the exact people it's supposed to 🩷

there is a large overlap in how i feel about my transness and how i feel about my disabledness. I am gentle with myself insofar as I feel it's useless to simply view my body as my enemy. however, there is still a sort of enemies/lovers adversarial relationship that I have with that same body. it is my home and my vessel but it is also the source of much torment and pain and suffering. I have had to learn how to live a life worth living within it. I have learned when I can push its boundaries and when I can't. but I defiantly refuse to let myself wallow in my own self-misery about how awful of a lot in life I've been given, when I could be finding an ironic sort of joy in those very same circumstances. I think that is fundamentally why people are so confused at the idea of a highly dysphoric person seemingly enjoying doing that which should be highly dysphoric for them. I do not have a choice. I have chosen to be playful and drag-y with it and find the cruel irony of life as something humorous because, truthfully, it is. but, additionally, it is an active choice of rebellion and survival for me to do so. it is my version of using dark humor to cope with a dark reality. this is not a prescription for anyone but me. this is simply how I relate to myself, for myself. it is my version of self care. I have had my months and years of sitting there sobbing over the body I'll never have and the lives I'll never live. I'm done with it. I can cry all day about how my body will forever look like that of a woman and how fucked up our society is for only having oppressive options to live under. life is a joke. I might as well have some fun with it while I'm here. there's not really a point to centralizing my focus on that suffering as much as possible in some vain pursuit of "validity" that will be ripped up from underneath the second I act "out of line". you'd be wise to consider what supposed rewards you receive from doing so & how illusionary they are. but that's not my business, regardless. and neither is my feminine aesthetics, your business.

I hate this saccharine, cloying, infantilizing way trans men are talked down to by their own community when speaking about the words they choose to describe their experiences and oppression

God forbid women do anything omfg. When transfems try to explain delicately and nicely they’re being “infantilising”, when they’re direct and serious they’re “rude” and “aggressive”.

Being told we aren’t smart enough to speak on our own experiences and should just shut up, but with a tone of voice that’s overly sweet and familiar, is in fact infantilizing and demeaning!

Also the permanent changes it can cause to your body.

Also I know it’s not the popular viewpoint, but stretch marks related to pregnancy are Also Permanent, for most people. I thought for the longest time that I was a bad person bc I didn’t feel empowered by my “tiger stripes” or my “battle scars” or however cis people try to paint the physical signs your body carried a baby. I genuinely thought I was monstrous bc whenever I look at the stretch marks I specifically gained from pregnancy I experience plummeting, horrible feelings in my stomach. But like. Birth for me was traumatizing. It wasn’t easy or magical or fun. I had an emergency c-section for my first child and thought I was going to die. Trauma + dysphoria + social shaming means this is the first time I’m talking publicly about how it feels to have marks on my body that won’t ever go away unless I elect to have expensive surgery, and if I have that surgery I am immediately ostracized and painted as shallow for not being able to overcome my trauma/dysphoria bc “girl power” or whatever (and no, saying “well I’m not a girl” does not stop this behavior.)

oh 1000%, it's also things like loose skin that can become a genuinely disabling issue for some people. one of my formative childhood experiences was watching Kate Plus Eight and her showing what pregnancy did to her body and how many problems it gave her. it was genuinely very sad and I felt bad for her (even if Kate herself had abajillion problems and is a truly deplorable human being. the original Karen). the amount of extra skin she had was to such a point that it interfered with her ability to do basic things like exercise at all, do laundry, etc. basically any physical activity. I wanna say she was also getting yeast skin infections due to there being so many folds and creases that would trap sweat and moisture etc.. and obviously she's an extreme case, but even a standard pregnancy is going to change your body in some pretty dramatic ways.

somebody apparently tried to get the Wikipedia page for discrimination against trans men deleted entirely because of the use of the word "transandrophobia". y'all are part of a fucking extremist hate group at this point. it's pride month and the government is killing us and you're actively trying to destroy documentation about trans people's discrimination? really? how fucking evil do you have to be to do this shit?

somebody apparently tried to get the Wikipedia page for discrimination against trans men deleted entirely because of the use of the word "transandrophobia". y'all are part of a fucking extremist hate group at this point. it's pride month and the government is killing us and you're actively trying to destroy documentation about trans people's discrimination? really? how fucking evil do you have to be to do this shit?

somebody apparently tried to get the Wikipedia page for discrimination against trans men deleted entirely because of the use of the word "transandrophobia". y'all are part of a fucking extremist hate group at this point. it's pride month and the government is killing us and you're actively trying to destroy documentation about trans people's discrimination? really? how fucking evil do you have to be to do this shit?

somebody apparently tried to get the Wikipedia page for discrimination against trans men deleted entirely because of the use of the word "transandrophobia". y'all are part of a fucking extremist hate group at this point. it's pride month and the government is killing us and you're actively trying to destroy documentation about trans people's discrimination? really? how fucking evil do you have to be to do this shit?

Just saw a post about how since the term transandrophobia was popularized by a nazi terf (supposedly? I cant fact check rn and even if they did popularize it, its given a word for things DOZENS of people experience both transmen and not) anyone who uses it is ALSO a nazi im going to fucking throw something sorry sorry sorry WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM A NAZI FOR AGREEING THAT I EXPERIENCE A SPECIFIC FORM OF TRANSPHOBIA FOR BEING TRANSMASC???? I hate this so fucking much dude. You're (generalized "you") all for nuance and intersectionalism UNTIL its about transmen huh. I dont fucking want to know how you (generalized) treat intersex people or GOD FORBID transmen & transmascs of color. Fucking insane. Im so fucking upset. Sorry admin I really needed to scream about this you can delete it if its too much