"It's Giving Me The Death Giggles"

About a week later, I got a questionnaire, on paper, through the post. As though I were living in 19ThePast. It had a letter asking me to fill it out and post it back. It took me three weeks to buy an envelope. It took another to actually fill it out. When I did, I inserted the questionnaire, carefully wrote out the address on the envelope, stamped it, sealed it, and looked down to see the questionnaire still on the sofa. I had tried to post them back their own letter requesting I fill out the questionnaire. I, for one, consider this part of the diagnostic criteria.

Anyway, I finally sent it a week later, so it took five weeks in all. That was, as I say, three years ago.

Today, I had to go to the doctor for unrelated reasons, and I was like, "By the way. Do we know what's happening with the ADHD assessment? I know it's a long waiting list, but it's been three years and I literally never heard anything back. Thoughts?"

And today's doctor (a different one) pulled up my history to have a little look, and discovered that a week after I'd initially gone in - during the time I was supposed to fill out the questionnaire but was still vaguely trying to remember to buy an envelope - the referral people had responded to my GP and said "She hasn't done a questionnaire so we can't assess her." At which point, my GP was supposed to call and share this with me so we could discuss

He did not.

And then, of course, they did get my questionnaire, and he should have forwarded THAT to the assessment people at that point to advance the process.

He did not.

Which means I have just wasted three years and a week waiting for an assessment that was never coming. The whole thing came to an end. That was that. At no point did that first doctor ever reconsider any part of my case. He was told they couldn't proceed, and didn't even think to tell me; he just thought "Well, sucks to be her" and then moved the fuck on with his life, I presume.

And you know, I don't want to be too damning towards the NHS; apart from anything else, last year I found a lump in one breast, and from the day I noticed and called the GP to the hospital staff going "That's a cyst, let's drain it. You're cured." was... 6 days? No, 5. Start to finish. I called on the Wednesday, they removed it on the Monday. And even that was a delayed time, because of the weekend in between, AND it didn't cost a penny.

I was like, “well, I’m in distress. I have an excellent brain that’s in a lot of pain.”

“But you’re, again, clearly capable of managing it. There is no evidence of having a condition that impacts on your life.”

I was given to understand that someone whose material circumstances indicate an exceptionally high-performing brain is just being greedy to ask for more ability, in an overloaded system where people are suffering.

After several rounds of prodding GPs have vaguely mentioned that I could pay £1000 for a “fast track” private diagnosis. Unfortunately the NHS is possibly-unlikely to “honour” that with NHS-supported medication, depending. (Also, high-performing doesn’t mean highly-paid; people just hear the STEM words and assume that you must make bank based on the syllables.)

Just now my boyfriend asked me if it's enough proper waking time to be allowed to sit quietly with my caffeinated beverage for 30 minutes before getting dressed to go out and about.

I’m continuing my series of quick summer sketches.

This one is about that beautiful moment when the day is almost over. The sun itself has already disappeared from view, somewhere behind us, but its last warm light is still touching the sharp rocks, making them glow in fiery reds and oranges against the cool blue sea.

The waves keep moving, the rocks hold the last light, and somewhere beyond the horizon the evening is slowly settling in.

Just a small, bright moment at the end of a summer day.

I hope you like it. ❤️

the lighting in this bathroom is crazy

"males and females" "AFABs and AMABs" "TMEs and TMAs" "You're TME, you'll never understand how scary it is to be a girl with a penis in the women's bathroom" (said to me, person who was literally beat up in middle school for being a girl with a penis in the girl's bathroom) "AMABs can never get cervical cancer, that's an AFAB only thing" "they won't let trans kids have hormones, but they'll give them to cis kids for free" "you can't be cis and trans at the same time" you can't be transfem and transmasc" "You can't be transfem if you were AFAB" "You can't be transmasc if you were AMAB" "RMAB and RFAB? Now you're just making things up" "All intersex people are biologically nonbinary" "I want to transition into intersex" "I'm such a b*eddel/f*ta/h*rm" "You're intersex? I'm so jealous, that means you get an easier transition right?" "I wish I was intersex, then I could get myself pregnant" "Trans people are brain intersex" "So what does it look like?"

Originally named Blennius varius by Johann Reinhold Forster (1729–1798), a naturalist aboard Captain Cook’s second voyage on HMS Resolution. It and related species in Tripterygion were later moved to their own genus. Lapillum refers to the fish's preferred habitat - seafloor with loose pebbles and small boulders.

Endemic to New Zealand's temperate shores, down to about 30m depth, and introduced to Australia. Actually the least fussy of NZ's 26 endemic triplefins, but the larvae strongly prefer to settle where the brown seaweeds Cystophora retroflexa and Cystophora torulosa grow.

Juverniles eat whatever detritus and tiny animals are available, but the adults prey on small crustaceans and other invertebrates. In breeding season the males become aggressively territorial, and stand gaurd over the 2000 or so eggs where they've been attached to a sloping rock surface, until they hatch.

Good fish for laboratory work or study in the wild - not skittish and easy to observe.

However, several respondents brought up the issue of conflation between "nb" as "nonbinary" and "nb" as "non-Black" (in context of "enby" being a convenient replacement for "nb" and opponents of "enby" insisting on "nb"), and I am looking for additional input from Black nonbinary people specifically. You do not need to have been present in the Tumblr trans community since mid 2010s to reach out, you just need to be nonbinary and have some form of experience with this discourse. If you want to respond anonymously, please indicate that you're Black in it.

If I get enough input, this will go into the part 2.2 I am currently writing and be posted tomorrow.

I love not farming

I respect the hell out of farmers and I'm glad that's someone's dream. because it's sure not mine

I would not be taken in by the tradwife influencer grift about milking a cow in a sundress. I have been around cows. my uncle was a dairy farmer. I love not milking a cow. I love getting milk from a store. I love getting vegetables and fruit and meat and bread from a store.

would I rather it be a local farm's store or a local bakery or butcher shop? yes! maybe when I make more money!

tempestuous flyer