Oleander

anyway what’s the best book you’ve ever read and yes if you say some YA shit i will kill a hostage.

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

Me if i was a Sports commentator: okay so i would have done everything differently there at that moment. And correctly

sam's infosec philosophy is truly baffling... the map of his daily commute from his home to the office is public information. however we still do not know the title of any book he has ever read

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

trend for tumblr 2026 seems to be "everyone posting about a new popular piece of media that i haven't seen that is probably very good that i've slowly grown to detest due to overexposure"

The steam library really is the gamers refrigerator. I keep checking to see if there's anything I want to play. I have games. I have plenty of games. There's nothing i want to play

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

like i thought gay people were supposed to be creatives right…… tell me how literally every single flag designer except gilbert baker himself seems entirely unfamiliar with even elementary color theory

Yeah I think he probably lets all his limbs go limp and just gets hauled around by his arms like a ragdoll (I tense up as the audience starts murmuring to each other and shaking their heads) I mean he has sex normally. He can access his own body during sex

no worse feeling than going on some subculture fashion clothing website and seeing the size chart runs from extra small to petite to pequeño to microscopique. yeah here at DeathKillFuckShadow Fantastique Cloth Imaginations i think you’ll find that we see the world a bit difference… we have bleak brutal imaginations… what if blood and fangs were COOL… but we cannot in our most tortured imaginations picture a woman who has a stouter frame than the fucking Insulindian Phasmid

[leftistly] [secularly] having sex causes a hard to quantify but unmistakable change in your personality and being that can be detected by others. Having sex for the first time imbues you with qualities and deep understandings that you did not have in your pre-sex state.

Tumblr user standing at the front of the classroom picking petals off of roses and crumpling and uncrumpling paper and showing you that the tape is never the same amount of sticky again after being used: -except I think this is a good thing

*walks around my house in a tank top and underwear like im the only playable woman in a david cage game*