Trashcans need to be inviting

i haven't been playing tumblr as much because i've been outside inhaling pollen

Why the fuck are dads just like *grunts* *sniffs* *sigh* *cough* *sniff* *grunts* like sir can I help you

How could I forget the classic Most Frightening God Damn Sneeze You've Heard In Your Life

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

if you’re reading this, i’m putting a thought out into the world for you. a hope that whatever’s worrying you works out in your favor, that a happy moment comes your way, and that you have a heartwarming reason to smile tonight

remember when teachers would tell you to fold paper hamburger or hotdog style. kind of sounds like some fake shit but just another example of burger centric american thinking

non americans in the tags doubting if this is true. you think burger is a fucking joke to us??

ok every time I see this post I find it necessary to point out Jesus was a carpenter like he legit would’ve used the fuck outta a nail gun

blood pressure Ain't even real lol. *stands up and immediately

who put this tattoo on this man and never developed the lore about it