skin is fake, tell your friends

if you want pluto to be a planet so bad get out there and fuck it with your penis so it gets big and pregnant. otherwise don't talk to me about it

grossed is such a weird way to describe how much a movie makes. how much did this movie yucky

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Since I hate having to do my own searches to verify stuff, here’s a Science Daily link and the journal article it cites for any similarly lazy-but-conscientious people after me. (And the University of Michigan press release, for what it’s worth.)

stole some guy's dog and drove off but then i realized i didnt even want this thing so i threw it out the window and it shattered like a vase

this is what it looks like inside bottles of olive oil

look at yourself ass naked wit socks and shoes on and tell me it’s not the funniest shit you ever seen

sonic the hedgehog