the welding helmet stays ON during sex

God should let me drink 7 coffees a day without repercussies

who needs a journal when you have tumblr with thousands of lesbians going through the same shit

so cool how advanced the algorithm has become, it literally only takes like a decade or more of spying on all my internet activity and then it can expertly curate a selection of 15-20 youtube videos that i don't really want to watch, and then keep showing me those videos over and over again for a week so i can scroll past them again. the future is now

one time i told a group of lesbian and bi women that i have never watched wicked and they were shocked, gagged, gooped, “but you’re queer. you like pussy. how have you not seen wicked?” yeah. well. i like pussy, not musicals?

“are you going to the lucy dacus concert?” no. i listen to gucci mane.

I'm going to *remembers how many times in my life I didn't tell anyone I was suicidal* you know, I'm not going to, but I honestly think even joking about it is better than never talking about it, and I think people who have dealt with such a difficult thing deserve to be able to joke about our own experiences without getting lectured about some knock-off CBT that's been ground up and shat out of the online pop psychology void, and also you know this format in itself is a suicide joke right it's just euphemistic

the generational divide marches on. i have never jerked off to playboy bunnies. and i will never jerk off to roblox porn

"there's roblox porn????" this website really is a millennial safe space

sooo annoying that my parents didn't provide emotional support growing up now it's a whole fucking thing

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand