that's a moray

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

im gonna do a line of saffron

I thought we were good as gravy, but you just wanted to get your pey wet

rock paper scissors but with women, me, and fish

this fucking girl on bumble sent me like three shy anime girl images and said like “uhmm… hi you seem really cool 😖😖 i’m so nervous” and it fr pissed me off so bad i deleted the app

all the people saying “you fumbled this girl! i want her” how does it feel to be a sucker

all roads lead to road dude. and when in road do as the rodents do.

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

it's called the whether because it depends

@evilwizard

i have noticed a very stupid pattern in my life. during actual chaos, i become useful. composed. almost suspiciously mature. but when things are normal and nobody is dying, i become a medieval peasant hearing thunder for the first time.