Clover and Crossbones

the among us show might genuinely be cinema i just watched a crewmate handle an actual fucking g-string

this show is rated tv-pg yet has shown multiple shots of a character flipping us off with both hands which has led me to believe every other tv-pg director is a coward

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

in 2026 i am wishing for all of us the energy of bilbo baggins, who was headhunted for an extremely well paid role he had no qualifications or experience for, blagged the interview, and within his first week found a magic ring that does the job for him

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

Male socialization is such an evil rhetoric. Yeah I guess not transitioning at the age of 5 is my fault and I'm evil for it. Yeah I guess not having the childhood I wish I did means I'm a danger and I should perpetually apologize for it

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

been playing a video game with my housemates lately and the other night I was trying to persuade my boyfriend in law to join me in hunting for the current boss in an underwater temple map and I truly got like. possessed. started out going "come on brother... it's all fine in the brine... we're all set in the wet..." and ended up saying shit like "nobody's frantic in the Atlantic... it's always mail call at the whale fall..." truly incomprehensible

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: i love using the term 'boyfriend in law' bc like damn sometimes he really is /End ID]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying