thebrightestmemeofherage

BAM!

I’m out of ideas! XD

LOOOK ATT THIIIIS!!!!

LOOOOK ATTT THIIIISS!!!!

80

*O*

OH MY GOOD!!!!!

ThAT’S IT!!!!

Hitting my knee

Traditional style (Sorry the picture quality is really bad) but here is my (super short) update!!

start your new year off right

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 391-1270

Brazil: 21-233-9191

China: 852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

Croatia: 01-4833-888

Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark: 70-201-201

Egypt: 762-1602

Estonia: 6-558-088

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

that last part was me attempting to type tumblr dot com and look how that went. Ah well

Attempt 2: Harrybuts

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real estate agent: chill, its me.

ghost: oh hey. have you sold it yet.

Harry: You try selling a house with YOU in it. You’re impossible.

Draco: Sure. Blame the poor murdered soul, cursed to live in the very house he was murdered in for the rest of his -

Harry: You didn’t tell me you were murdered.

Draco: It was implied, Potter. Why else would I haunt this place?

Harry: I don’t know. I thought you were doing it just to spite me.

Draco: Ah yes, because the whole world revolves around Harry Potter, mediocre real estate agent. I’ve been haunting this place for longer than you’ve been alive.

Harry: You’ve been around that long, sure, but you didn’t start actively haunting the place until recently. It’s almost as if you don’t want me to sell it.

Draco: Or you’re a terrible real estate agent.

Harry: I don’t think so.

Draco: You’re an arrogant prat.

Harry: But you like that, don’t you?

Draco: What?

Harry: That’s why you don’t want me to sell the place. I’ve finally worked it out. You like me.

Draco: Don’t be ridiculous, Potter. I don’t see why you have to blame your shortfalls on me when -

Harry: You. Like. Me. Admit it.

Draco: I will do such thing. Now you’ll have to excuse me, I have to practice slamming doors for your next prospective buyers.

Draco: *ignores him*

Harry: No more slamming doors, it’s giving me a headache.

Draco: Good to know. I’ll add some wailing, then.

Harry: Wow, even when you’re dead you’re an insufferable prat!

Draco: *smirking* Only for you.

Harry: HA!

Draco: *whirls around* What?

Harry: So you DO like me! Just say it already!

Draco: You know, I’m getting the impression you’re the one who has something to say.

Harry: Um… no?

Draco: Right.

Harry: Besides, you’re a ghost, I’m still alive. How would that even work?

Harry: Malfoy?

Harry: I was kidding.

Harry: Where did you go?

The next day

Draco, sneaking up behind Harry: Back so soon?

Harry, startled: Fuck. Don’t do that. Go and bang some cupboard doors or something. I’m working, Malfoy.

Draco: Working. You’re putting flyers and biscuits on a table.

Harry: I thought you were hiding from me. Can we go back to that? It was so much quieter.

Draco: I’m a Malfoy, Malfoy’s do not hide from anyone. Merlin, Potter, are you putting out gingerbread for the prospective buyers? No wonder you can’t sell this place!

Harry: I’d be able to sell it if the bloody ghost haunting it wasn’t so obsessed with me!

Draco spluttering: Obsess - how dare - oh fuck you Potter, you arrogant bastard. I’m going to haunt this place even harder now.

Harry: The more you haunt it the more I’ll know you like me.

Draco, indignant: That’s not how this works!

Harry: Are you pouting? I didn’t know ghosts could pout.

Draco: If I wasn’t dead, I’d kill you, I want you to know that.

Harry: I’ll keep it in mind. Are you going to bugger off while I do this?

Draco, huffing: No.

Harry, sighing: Fine. *Muttering to himself* I’m going to have to buy this damn place myself if I want this sale to ever happen.

Harry: That is usually what one does after buying a place for themselves.

Draco: But then… you’d be around every day?

Harry: My my, Malfoy, I had no idea ghosts could blush.

Draco: I’m not blushing! You’re delusional! *eyes narrowing* Is this a ploy to get me out of here?

Harry: *snorts* As if you’d leave after I move in.

Draco: *angrily* Don’t flatter yourself! You know what, I’ve had enough of this.

Harry: You’re bluffing.

Harry: Malfoy?

Harry: MALFOY! WHERE DID YOU GO? COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!

Harry:

Harry: I’d let you have your own room.

Harry: Fine, and your own bathroom. *mutters under his breath* Not that you’d need it.

Harry: Malfoy?

Harry: What if we shared a room?

Draco: Merlin, you really have it bad for me, don’t you, Potter?

Harry: FUCK! You played me, didn’t you? You just fucking played me!

Harry: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Draco: *slowly floating away* nothing you can’t figure out by yourself is the statement weren’t true

Harry: Could you please stop talking in riddles? I have buyers coming over in a minute I don’t have time for this!

Draco: Oh I’ll stop talking in riddles if your precious buyers are coming around soon. You know what? I’ll just cease conversation with you entirely what do we think about that?

Harry: Are you jealous of my buyers now? Really?

Draco: *shrugs, floats away through wall*

Harry: Malfoy? Malfoy! Malfoy come back!

Harry: *shouting at the wall* Well fine! Leave then! This house doesn’t even have two bathrooms so it wouldn’t have worked anyway!

*long silence*

Harry: *cracked up voice* Malfoy?

*silence*

Harry: Draco?

Draco: *coming through the floor behind Harry* And how do you know my first name?

Harry: *faints*

Draco : *making the front door rattle* And I thought you’d have more nerve, Potter, seeing that you apparently have been following me, a ghost, around for this whole time

Harry : I do not follow you around ! I think it is the opposite, actually. And I asked you what you are doing.

Draco : *waves at the window, putting on a fake smile for the leaving, and frightened buyer*

Harry : Oh wait, I should be meeting up with my buyer!

Draco : Your buyer is gone, Potter.

Harry : That’s because YOU keep banging the doors on them ! He really wanted to buy this house before

Draco : *innocently* I thought you said you are going to live here instead?

Harry : *scoffs* well, by the rate of how everything is going and how you keep fucking it up for me, I might as well

Draco : *teasing* Oh, is this the way how you should talk to your future housemate?

Harry : *groans* Fuck off, Malfoy *picks up his belongings from the table*

*silence*

Harry : Wow I didn’t think you’d actually listen to me, Malfoy

*more silence*

Harry : Hello? Are you still here, Malfoy, because i’m leaving

Draco : …

Harry : And i may not bring any buyers over any time soon because you keep chasing them away so i don’t think this sale is not gonna happen

*silence*

Harry : *hesitantly* Draco?

Draco : *rises up from the ground behind Harry again* And how do you know my first name again, Harry?

Harry : *jumps* Warn a bloke, Malfoy! And…and that’s because, well, *awkward* I probably. Might have. It is possible that. Maaaybe I did a thorough look-up of your history like six months ago…?

Harry : Hold on I feel weird…Oh fuck are you/hugging me, Malfoy? Really?

Draco : *still holding harry* Malfoys do NOT hug, Potter.

Draco, curious like a child: Whatcha doin’?

Harry: Signing papers.

Draco: For what?

Harry: For the house.

Draco: Agent papers?

Harry: *sighs* No, lease papers.

Draco: *chokes* As in You’re going to LIVE here?

Harry: Yes, Draco - that is why one signs lease papers.

Draco: Well, better make the bed.

Harry: What?

Draco: Didn’t you say we were sharing a room?

Harry, annoyed: STOP FUCKING PLAYING ME, DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY!

Draco: *floats on a couch* My middle name too, damn Potter, you really did your research.

Harry: *blushes* Well I had to.

Draco: And why is that?

Harry: For personal reasons.

Draco: Which are?

Harry, now murmuring: Well, Malfoy - I want to get to know my housemate.

Draco: Well, anything you desire to know, just ask me. We have a while as we’re going to be living together forever.

Harry: You think I’m going to be living here forever? With you?

Draco, offended: IS IT REALLY THAT BAD HERE? *swooshes away*

Harry: No - but! Wait! Come back! STOP DISAPPEARING!

…

…

…

Harry: Come back, it’s quiet and lonely without you.

Draco: *emerges from cabinet all lovey-dovey* I knew you had it bad for me, Potter.

Draco: You’re the one moving in with me.

Harry: You’re the one who made it impossible to sell to anybody else.

Draco: I hardly think a little door slamming and casual wailing made it impossible. You obviously just can’t live without me.

Harry: And you can’t live at all. 

Draco:

Harry: Shit. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean - 

Draco: You shouldn’t move in here.

Harry: Wait, Draco, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I - 

Draco: No, I mean, we can’t do this, Potter. You should be with someone alive. Not a dead, housebound ghost.

Harry: And what if I want a dead, housebound ghost?

Draco: Seriously, I can’t give you what you deserve. I can’t take you out, I can’t even hold you properly. 

Harry: I don’t care.

Draco: Harry, I don’t think you under - 

Harry: I said I don’t care. I love you and I’m moving in. I’ve already finished the paperwork. 

Draco: You love me?

Harry: Sorry, that sort of just slipped out.

Draco: I knew you had it bad for me. 

Harry: Is that all you have to say?

Draco: Fine. Harry, I…I guess…I love you too. 

Harry: You - 

Draco: But don’t you dare get smug about it or I’ll slam the doors at 3am every night for a week.

Harry: Not smug, Draco. Just happy. Finally happy. 

 ❤️

He’s not

- apply Vaseline to your eyes, lashes, brows, and lips before bed

- never brush curly hair while it’s dry

- on that note, applying products/oil to curly hair while dry is useless

- use a t shirt to dry hair to avoid frizz

- sleep without pants. trust me.

- avoid watery body lotions like Vaseline’s lotion. only dries you out

- avoid crystalline, jagged scrubs (sugar, coffee. St. Ives, etc.). Use round/gentle ones like oatmeal

- avoid coconut oil on face. if you apply it to your hair wash your face afterwards

- don’t put lemon on your face. it might seem like it’s helping but it weakens its protective layer in the long run. if you do use it, dilute it and avoid sun for a while.

- no toothpaste on pimples either it’s a myth

- why do u have a bra on at home. take that shit off and live a little.

- apply deodorant before getting dressed so it doesn’t rub off on your clothes defeating the purpose

- reapply sunscreen every 3-4 hours

- don’t text the fuckboy he don’t care about you

- wake up 30 minutes earlier to have a more relaxed morning and avoid rushing

- wash panties by themselves so you don’t get the gross dirt and germs from your other clothes mixed in. dry them in the sun to kill bacteria if possible.

- hand wash all hijabs they’ll last longer

- don’t use rose water with added fragrance. always check label

- eat at least one fruit or vegetable a day

- leave menial tasks for the end of the day. don’t drain yourself before getting to the important stuff

- before saying something mean or a nasty joke, take 5 seconds to think about it.

- apologizing first doesn’t make you weak

- being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak

- exfoliate after using foundation or powder

- clean phone screen with rubbing alcohol/sanitizer