IM SICK OF THIS HELLSITE

Lady A: He is in there only to peep on women.

Lady B: Were you there to peep on other women?

Lady A: No.

Lady B: Neither was she.

Lady A: She is a he!

Lady B: Are you a he?

Lady A: No.

Lady B: Neither is she.

Lady A: But he has a penis!

Lady B: Have you seen her penis?

Lady A: Yes!

pees

checks fridge

drinks water

*looks at clock*

“i still have plenty of time”

scrolls tumblr

opens youtube for relaxing music-

then finding myself watching cute cats and dogs

opens new tab to finally start homework but instead types tumblr.com

“i need a 15 min break i deserve this”

*30 mins after, still scrolling through my dash*

*staring at the wall trying to find the answers

but ends up thinking what i’ll eat next*

*looks around trying to find someone to blame for my life*

*does something irrelevant*

“im so tired!!!“

*sleeps*

*wakes to pee*

*looks at clock*

My therapist asked me to create something “motivating” so I made these.

I’m taggin my trans* friends and spilling the tea

That’s right. I calculated it. How you may ask? With the help of the super obscure “The Puzzling Puzzles” (I know, questionable canon, but Handler helped write it so…) Anyway, in The Puzzling Puzzles, Lemony tells us that the Baudelaire Fortune is roughly the equivalent of “130 shoeboxes full of golf ball-sized diamonds”. So I did a lot of research and a lot of math- And I came to a grand total of the Baudelaire Fortune being $474,250,944,375 Which means that when they come of age, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny will each be entitled to $158,083,648,125. (Work shown below. Calculations based on modern diamond prices and modern American shoebox sizes)

And here she and the statue are in a more formal setting (museum or art show, I can’t tell):

tech kids hanging out in the house seats, lighting and sound crew just starting to figure stuff out

cast running all the dance numbers 129493 times, crying

first pairs of jazz shoes are spotted

ensemble mumbling like everything

running the show for the first time,,,, crying bc whAT ARE OUR CUES

leads still calling out for lines occasionally and ur director getting pissed

probs stopping as yall run the show

one week before the first performance:

ensemble crying in the corner bc they’re “not loud enough”

“?????” - band

tech kids are literally at school till 1am

set is coming together!!

leads are crying

!1!1!costumes

!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1 makeup

death

this is the time period when kids limbs or ankles start randomly breaking

someone: *coughs* “REPENT”

matinee!!:

literally everyone is sobbing backstage

quick changes killing people

inspirational speeches starting to happen

“WHERE THE HELL ARE MY JAZZ SHOES”

crew kids building their calm façade

internal screaming

lighting starts doing cool things

“dude the set looks so cool with the lights”

leads forgetting their lines simply bc of stress

“what’s that move again??”

“what’s our note again??”

places:

everyone just got done with traditions and there are probably a lot of raw emotions happening ajsjdjjdk

calm, not a sound backstage.

numbness

“im fucking serious what’s that move again?”

“what the hell is our note”

crew is getting calls over the boxes every 10 seconds

“where’s my fucking prop”

ur stage manager is probably crying

everyone is crying

band - “?????”

the show:

“aw shit i messed that up oh well tonight ill do it right”

band - “!!!!”

“i can’t cross when they’re dancing to move props can i”