I'm autistic and have a bad tendency to talk at people rather than with them. I also will sometimes repeat what another person has said in my own words as a way of processing it.
When I was a girl, while people were (reasonably) frustrated with this and gently corrected me, it was largely understood, by reasonable people at least, to be something I couldn't really control and something that was not done with any malicious intent.
While I am still perceived as a girl IRL, I changed my online username and presentation to be masculine. I have noticed that (and created a spreadsheet to keep track of) people are now perceiving this same exact behavior as malicious. I deleted my Reddit account not too long ago because I got dogpilled for doing so to the point of people DMing me, which, even though I knew it wasn't that big of a deal, made me feel horrible (which is why I deleted my account).
On one hand, I understand the reaction. A (presumably, ostensibly cis) man repeating what a woman is saying does, at surface level, seems like mansplaining — seems like malice, seems like it's a behavior rooted in believing that a man's words hold more weight and are more important than a woman's.
On the other hand, it feels like I am being punished for being both autistic and transmasculine. I can't change this behavior anymore than I can change the course of a river. The only way to prevent it would be to not speak at all. I'm newly discovered, in regards to my transmasculinity. Part of me is so frustrated with this that I was thinking of changing my username and online presentation back to something more feminine or neutral.
Largely, it is also just very frustrating to have it assumed that I have never been a victim of misogyny, including things such as mansplaining. The stripping of my past (and present!) life experiences once I am perceived as a man feels in itself as malicious.
I was wondering if you might have any advice or insight? Apologies if I've gotten the wrong idea. Entire message is meant to be in a "stating a series of events factually and neutrally" tone.
ive been saying that in the same way that there is an intersection between transandrophobia and racism, there is an intersection between transandrophobia and ableism. disabled men, particularly mentally/psychiatrically disabled men but also physically, are seen as a threat in a way that disabled women arent typically. a lot of trans guys who are disabled (myself included) transitioned and started experiencing a whole new axis of ableism that we did not experience when presenting/living as cis women. this isnt to say that women dont experience ableism or that kind of ableism, but it definitely more broadly affects men ime. disabled boys and men are perceived differently from disabled women and girls for expressing the same symptoms. disabled boys and men are seen as threatening in a way that disabled women and girls are typically not. of course, the way society views and treats disabled women and girls has led to a lot of horrible shit for that community (which a lot of historical (and modern) trans men have experienced as well) but societys view on disabled men and boys and viewing them as a threat (especially black and brown disabled men and boys) has killed them/us and continues to. and i think thats an important discussion to have, but of course, even the most "progressive" people at best dont ever think about disabled people in their activism because they dont think we have a place in society, and at worst also hate disabled people
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
origamiaround
ellievsbear
