twitter isn't real, it can't hurt you

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

people keep saying "if only this is a blender addon" this is an addon and if u follow me i will finish it and let you all have it

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

i think being proud of where you come from is one of those things that becomes fun the more specific you get. like "proud to be english" bad rancid vibes. makes you sound like the kind of person who rants about immigrants. "proud to be from yorkshire" better vibes. i cannot deny the yorkshire cultural heritage. "proud to be from pocklington" absolutely fucking hilarious please never let anybody kill your pocklington pride.

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class