Welcome to randomness, you know as much as I do

Mc: Okay, let’s go over a couple of things.

Lucifer: Is that why you called us here?

Mc: *smiling* I can jump.

Mammon: Obviously?

Mc: I can’t jump from a height of 10 meters.

The brothers: .…

Mc: I can stay up all night, go without sleep for a night.

Asmo: I think I know where this is going…

Mc: I can’t go more than 72 hours without sleep.

Levi: Ha, ha, ha… looking down

Mc: I *pointing at themself* can eat spicy food.

Beel: …

Mc: I can’t eat things that are as hot as lava.

Satan: I think we get the idea.

Mc: I can give bear hugs.

Belphie: … Damn.

Mc: I *taking a breath before slamming the fist on the table* can’t stand bear hugs from creatures with the strength of a hydraulic press!!!!!!!

The Brothers: ...

Mc: If you want me to survive this year, you’d better remember those couple of things!!!!

Diavolo: Ah *very embarrassed* that’s why I’m here too….

.

incredible

you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.

but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support

well gosh. look what happens.

The whole room stops, and Tim stares wide-eyed at the jar before backing away in slight disgust

Tim: What is that? Aren’t you supposed to be on bed rest?

Bruce: Your spleeeennnn

Tim: What?

Dick: What.

Bruce: You got sick last month, and it was bad… I felt bad… spleen…

Jason: *turning to Tim* You were missing your spleen? When the hell were you gonna tell anyone?!

Tim: Slipped my mind, anyway, how did you find out?

Bruce: I go into the League of Assassins servers and whatnot from time to time ever since Damian came into the family, no biggie

Duke: And you...?

Bruce: Infiltrated them about two hours ago to steal back your brother's spleen?

Bruce: Yes

Steph: Are you on drugs? You sound like you’re on drugs. What did Alfred give you?

Bruce: I don’t remember, something for my broken ribs

Cass: *standing up and leading Bruce to sit down in a chair* How many?

Bruce: Three, not a big deal. Anyways, spleen. *grins widely*

Jason: Wait... you infiltrated the League of Assassins while high

Bruce: *looks confused* What, like it's hard?

Damian: *had left the room earlier, is now back with a glass of cold water* Baba, please drink

Bruce: *takes glass and ruffles Damian’s hair* Thank you, baby, you’re so good to me. I love you so much *starts kissing his cheeks while Damian weakly tries to escape*

Dick: … *only slightly jealous* I’m calling Alfred

the apartment felt painfully empty without your two insufferable roommates’ constant pestering—most of the time, they were annoying, loud, reincarnates of chaotic gremlins as two beefy men. but at this very moment you’d do anything for the terrifying silence to just disappear.

you’d woken up from your nap drenched in sweat, your exams nearing closer and closer, and all you ever did was get jumpy off of caffeine and study to keep your mind off of everything. because if you stopped, your emotions would finally catch up to you. and that’s exactly what they did.

you couldn’t do this anymore, not like this and before you could stop yourself you were rummaging through their closet, discarding your pyjamas to put on toji’s boxers and sukuna’s hoodie, only to curl up in your bed enveloped by their scent and cry into your stupid pillows.

you’d lost track of time before you heard the door click, your face flushed and your eyes puffy while your two roommates stumbled into your room. only to be met with the sight of you curled up in their clothes, your face tear stained, your hair a matted mess against your pillows.

“yo you okay?” you heard sukuna say while he sat at the edge of your bed, toji climbing over the other side to flip you over.

“what’s wrong pretty?”

your words were caught in your throat, all you could do was hiccup and continue to cry for seemingly no reason, trying to hide your face away from them so they wouldn’t have to see you. so that they wouldn’t be burdened with comforting you.

“it’s alright, doll, you’re okay.” you felt toji flip you cover, crushing you with his arms into his chest while sukuna laid behind you, his hands wrapping around your waist, pressing your back to his chest.

it was suffocating, in the best way possible being drowned in their scent while they held you close to their muscled bodies, shielding you away from the world.

you could feel everything stop for a moment, with you smothered in man titties pecs, their big arms holding you in place while you cried softly into toji’s chest, all the while sukuna pressed soft kisses at the back of your neck.

“we’re gonna talk about you stealing my boxers later, doll.”

“nnoooo, i can give you my red thong if you’d like.” you slurred, giggling a little against his chest.

“careful we might like that.” sukuna whispered into your ear, revelling in the way you slowly started to hiccup and laugh.

“perverts.”

“you love us.”

“i..might.”

ok so i like fluff ok. do we like fluff. do u love me. @yoonsucks & @cactusvolumes da real goat for giving me this idea ty

꒰ ⋆.𐙚 ̊┃ recs : all my beloved underrated writers ⋆˙ ꒱

it’s been on my mind lately that giving love to authors is important bc they’re essentially doing free creative work without asking for anything except your response so here is my list of really brilliant authors who desperately need so much more love. will make more as recs come!

I’m kinda here too btw masterlist!

⤷ ゛ longfics

.✦ @mononijikayu ˎˊ˗ on my knees BEGGING all of you to check out the work “wildflower” by Kayu (IT IS A THREAT.), it was and to this day, will be the work that inspired my to write my fics. the characterisation of each character in a modern setting is on point, I cannot stress that enough. special mention to astrophysicist!Reader x volleyball player Sukuna and Toji x Wife!Reader <3

.✦ @alexiroflife ˎˊ˗ the best hurt/comfort fics!!! when I say the best, I mean it!!! all the multi-character works have my gnawing at how perfectly Alex has captured the essence of each character. very special mention to JJK men x reader with sh issues (cried in that one it was that good)

.✦ @aesthetically-dying101 ˎˊ˗ another banger author with a banger set of works. i had to pause through their Artist!Nanami x reader work like a hundred times to marvel how insanely it captured the emotions. their lyricism blows me away I’m being so real rn

.✦ @i-mean-y-not ˎˊ˗ pookie’s Choso and Nanami works have me by the THROAT. angsty, but so realistic. so underrated it’s almost criminal. CHECK OUT THEIR CHOSO WORKS CHAT AND IM SAYING THIS AS NANAMI’S WIFE

⤷ ゛multifandom

.✦ @gingerteawrites ˎˊ˗ my darling lady, writes not just for JJK, but also for the scrumptious LaDS men <3 so beautiful concept and such elegance in bringing it to life. Violent nudges to all of you reading this to check out her “By the Hearth” series, featuring Emperor!Nanami and Reader as the BAMFest Queen of all time!!! Has some really cool drabbles waiting to be expanded upon (looking at the isekaid reader and dystopian universe drabbles mhm mhm pls check it out you will NAWT be disappointed) and if I play my cards right, Ginger will soon be dipping her toes in the Attack on Titan fandom hehe

.✦ @saelynne ˎˊ˗ literally a gem in the multi fandom aren. if you scourge through Sae’s absolutely adorable convenience store, you’ll find her Cozy Cabin Cafe Event on her 200 followers milestone celebration event and it was like the best theme I’ve seen to date?? I want a piece of her brain and I know you will want it too when you check her works out. So so so delicious <3

.✦ @mannythemunchkin ˎˊ˗ mother. Like. serves with her Suguru works. Also specialises in soooooo many fandoms like a CHAMP. I’m not kidding. Hazbin Hotel, Jujutsu Kaisen, Stranger Things, Epic the Musical, you name it and it is there.

.✦ @dolcieri ˎˊ˗ this list is incomplete without one amore of mine <3 fashion icon, wielder of words and such exquisite detail to attention. you’ll be addicted. the visuals, the beauty, the perfection, mwah

⤷ ゛mixed bag (drabbles, fics, and series)

.✦ @heliumshorns ˎˊ˗ delicious smut omg. My wife my wife my wife my wife <3 very special mention to Heliumpie’s “Is it worth it?” A very meaningful and new take on Toji’s perception and nuances. Angsty in some places but so so so brilliant, especially the fluff and the ongoing theme of real life issues

.✦ @nanamineedstherapy ˎˊ˗ a genius. 10/10. no notes. GENIUS. the concepts???? The execution???? Perfection. You’re never going to be bored here, trust. Ever. Fresh ideas that will grip you endearingly. Violet has it all. Special attention to be diverted on her Nanami x Reader x Gojo works bc honestly Nanago is life <3 And all the Nanami hurt/comfort here pls.

.✦ @mooniewritess ˎˊ˗ if you haven’t checked precious moonie’s Sukume x Reader fic then what are you even doing??? Blasphemy imo. Not to mention my personal favourite Ace!Nanami (I’ll have you know it made me realise things about myself you’ll find my crashed out comments in the comment section) tl;dr, CHECK IT OUT.

.✦ @ech0esfromtheshad0w ˎˊ˗ you gotta dig for this pearl to be on your feed trust. you want fluff? come here. you want smut? COME HERE. angst? You know it. Come here. You might even find a smau or two in the wild here… hehe (I’m partial to Maru’s Nanami works because it makes me feel warm and fluffy just like I like Nanami)

.✦ @liliklei ˎˊ˗ honestly everything you want you can find here I’m not even gonna lie. Especially if you like a certain hunk of a man with a scar on his lips… yes. YES. ITS AN ORDER.

.✦ @lunarevia ˎˊ˗ sweetest girl with the sweetest concepts in her brewery. Focused on Satoru, and so so so ethereal in how Satoru is written. Luna’s Satoru everything one could want, sweet, flirty, gentle, kind, a little goofy, but so amazing (just like she is!)

⤷ ゛non-JJK centric

.✦ @tragicgirl44 ˎˊ˗ special mention to my sugarbae <3 writing for loverboy Jean from Attack On Titan with such finesse it will leave you absolutely craving for more. Fun, feelsy, and fantastic :D you’re in for a treat if you check her works out!

.✦ @lenessence ˎˊ˗ found one (1) Sasha Braus work and I’m SOLD. also the feels heavy childhood best friend Eren Yeager fic… I’m bawling now bye <3

⤷ ゛SMAUs

.✦ @jxcyt ˎˊ˗ angsty but peak humour. Will make you cry but also make you laugh sm it’s insane. def knows ball.

.✦ @cherryflavouredsushi ˎˊ˗ so so so so amazing I cannot stress enough. features JJK teens and absolutely crazy reader. Love me some wildness about myself <3

.✦ @bluebaerie ˎˊ˗ hehe that feeling when your life feels complete because your awesome smau authors write for not just one but two of your favourite fandoms: AOT and JJK. really, what more can I ask for?

.✦ @rosiewantstowrite ˎˊ˗ really fun concepts that I adore! Esp ones such as platonic relationship between reader and JJK men. We need more found family/sibling bonds and Rosie does it so well <3

.✦ @thebussyinspector ˎˊ˗ pookie does not play around when it comes to subby men and honestly? I stan. You go queen give us EVERYTHING.

If you have any other recs for underappreciated authors please do send them my way! You can also absolutely send your own works under anonymous asks — remember, wanting to be seen for your hardwork should not make you feel guilty. You’re valid in what you desire <3

❝I reached for you, but you were gone, i knew i had to go back home❞

𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚ 𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱݁˖˚

🍀୭˚. ᵎᵎ｡🌷𖦹°‧jjk series recs°𖦹🌷ᵎᵎ｡.˚୭🍀𖦹

─ ʚɞ˙🌷 ̟!! ryomen sukuna𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚

☘︎not just anybody @/yenayaps

☘︎tourist trapped @/indiewritesxoxo

☘︎unspoken conditions @/spideyyeet

☘︎fratboy!sukuna x chubby!reader @/absolutemea 

☘︎everything we didn’t say @/bambismoon

☘︎love&company @/starmapz

☘︎lullaby for the past @/sukunasweetheart

☘︎controller @/yenayaps

☘︎what you know @/starmapz

☘︎knocked up @/seellove

☘︎knock out up @/indiewritesxoxo

☘︎hesitance @/yenayaps

☘︎sweet tooth @/sukunahs

☘︎my boyfriend is a demon @/suku-enthusiast 

☘︎silent love @/strbymacroon

☘︎specimen @/5yzygy

☘︎i can be fun @/tojipie

☘︎my dearest @/suku-enthusiast

☘︎defiance @/yenayaps

☘︎could you stay a little longer @/seellove

☘︎counterfeit shrines @/seellove

☘︎dirty rush @/seellove

☘︎thursdays @/beaniesayshi

☘︎blank canvas @/saintobio

☘︎pour it up @/madamechrissy

☘︎how to unlove someone @/fromsil

☘︎lovesick @/monoijikayu

☘︎how to (not) get rid of a crush @/sugarimmediately

☘︎malvolence in spring @/w0rm3y

☘︎blurry @/w0rm3y

☘︎your roommate sukuna @/samaraxmorgan

☘︎in the lands of gods & monsters @/suku-enthusiasts 

☘︎convicted @/suku-enthusiasts

☘︎where the river blooms @/suku-enthusiasts

─ ʚɞ˙🌷 ̟!! satoru gojo𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚

☘︎it ain’t me babe @/bambismoon

☘︎took you like a shot @/madamechrissy

☘︎love hard @/alygator77

☘︎just friends!? @/madamechrissy

☘︎baby doll @/sixxels

☘︎motherhood and matrimony @/alygator77

☘︎vows of duty @/alygator77

☘︎shame on me @/starmapz

☘︎white winter hymnal @/feyrinn

☘︎love comes in small sizes @/sixeyesonathiel

☘︎time after time @/madamechrissy

☘︎golden boy @/sirenleche

☘︎remember spring days @/kthologue 

☘︎in holy matriphony @/celestie0

☘︎sweet suites @/themindofachronicdayd

☘︎a typical family @/literaila

☘︎something, somehow, someday @/hellowoolf

☘︎the end came quietly @/junos-chronicles

☘︎half of me @/junos-chronicals

☘︎two souls and hillsides @/junos-chronicles

─ ʚɞ˙🌷 ̟!! choso kamo𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚

☘︎ashes & wildflowers @/suku-enthusiasts

☘︎when the door shut @/suku-ethusiasts

☘︎you bring me home @/chooppi

─ ʚɞ˙🌷 ̟!! toji fushiguro𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚

☘︎dirty little secret @/madamechrissy

☘︎seven years @/suku-enthusiasts

☘︎the space between comfort and chaos @/satoruxx

☘︎dogsitter!toji @/retiredteabag

☘︎chance encounter @/satosugusthirdwheel

─ ʚɞ˙🌷 ̟!! kento nanami𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚

☘︎sour cherry @/delirious-donna

☘︎your best friends bother @/delirious-donna

☘︎wishful thinking @/retiredteabag 

☘︎but it's better if you do @/madamechrissy

☘︎the ties that bind @/swearimnevergivingup

☘︎perfect lover: the life of nanami kento the 35 year old virgin @/angelicratio

─ ʚɞ˙🌷 ̟!! suguru geto𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚𝜗ৎ⋆.˚❀₊˚⊹.꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ݁˖˚

☘︎drunk running @/heaveninruins

☘︎show off @/sixxels

☘︎the ethics of relationships @/gojonanami

(more to be added!)

💌 feel free to send me recs, asks, or just say hi! always looking for moots💌

fgdgsjskahdfas

Two cats won’t give up on trying to enter a Japanese Art Museum, the war has been going on for 2 years now. 

get a bit of hope, you get

a cute birb photo

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.