Cut my Pie into Pieces

When Google is attempting to be informative and accurate about the history of a corporation and instead invent a Horror Movie Location

I’m disabled and it pisses me off so much when people use termination for medical reasons in the case of fetuses with non-fatal congenital conditions as a reason that abortion is evil and pregnant people shouldn’t be allowed to decide to end a pregnancy. I would not damn a dog to be dependent on the American medical system, much less a human being for the next 75+ years. Do not talk to me about eugenics until the mentally ill and physically disabled stop freezing to death on the street and dying of treatable illnesses because they can’t afford a caretaker OR their medication OR stable housing. If someone wants to terminate a pregnancy before that fetus becomes a living, kicking, screaming, breathing baby, you cannot compare that to the fucking vile things that happen to actual living disabled people in our society every fucking day. There are actual disabled people begging for help and you’re ignoring them to pretend like you give a fuck about unborn disabled “babies”.

the "language is a social construct, therefore linguistic misinformation is impossible. any claim about language is true if enough people say it is" misconception is of course annoying when applied to stuff like grammar because it's wrong in a nuanced way that's important to explain correctly to avoid spreading even worse ideas about language. but with etymology it's like. no that's not even the part of language that's a social construct, you're making a claim about history. this is something that you really shouldn't think you can just make up

language changes over time but a popular tumblr post claiming that a figure of speech from the bible is actually the short version of its own comeback isn't language changing

btw one of the main tells for false etymology posts online is that they often are presented as something the poster "realized", as opposed to "learned". as though historical facts about how language has evolved are things that you can figure out on your own by thinking about words hard enough

The moon is my ex girlfriend

thats rough buddy

....So did you two break up before becoming the moon? Or was becoming a symbolic or actual manifestation of a celestial body something of a dealbreaker?

You ignored that sign and deepthroated that dove, you don't get to complain that the feathers are choking you

This Fandom is rapidly becoming as toxic in its own right as the ignoble IP-generator they continue to support

I love when people try to gotcha me on my stance that all sports should be gender integrated with "even American football???" because I can instantly come back with "oh lmao, no, I don't think ANYONE should play American football at all, it's way too dangerous" like nice try but I know no amount of testosterone is going to protect you from the profound, life ruining health issues caused by getting repeated severe concussions over the course of several years. No one should play this sport.

Like do you really think muscle mass or gender/sex can protect you from CTE?? You think men are naturally more resistant to concussions?? Because idk how else you square this sport being too dangerous for cis women and people afab but perfectly safe for cis men and people amab. Having a testosterone dominant endocrine system isn't gonna do shit in the face of traumatic brain injury. Be serious. This sport should not exist.

saw a post on bluesky about reimagining The Iliad as a mecha war and that idea goes unbelievably hard. achilles in his legally distinct gundam cutting through dozens of enemy suits. aggamemnon in his gold-plated mech. paris using a long range sniper rifle to exploit a design flaw in achilles' armor. the gods are all various megacorps who have a stake in the war bc it'll impact their profits.

The Trojan Voltron

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

The only way this could have been funnier and more American would be if it ended with him getting hit in the face with an apple pie.

Just... just put it in the bag. That you are carrying, and presumably picked yo match your outfit... you have all the tools you need to remedy this issue...

the fact that on my way out of seeing the hadestown proshot with my sibling i was walking to the theater exit and without even thinking about it i turned around to see where they were... yeah. yeah.

like. you can be frustrated at orpheus. you can be heartbroken for orpheus and eurydice. you should be. but when you're walking together and your loved one isn't right next to you that instinct to turn around and check on them is as natural as breathing

Donald Trump desperately trying to initiate the Red Scare 2 but no one giving a fuck is hilarious to me. The GOP has already villainized and fearmongered about immigrants, transgender people, DEI hires, ANTIFA, etc. and introducing a new supervillain hiding amongst us just isn’t working. I wish there was a communism WAS the greatest threat to America.

During yesterday’s speech he said something to the tune of “The communists want to seize your house and give it to your neighbor.” which shows how out of touch he is, how advanced his dementia is and how the Red Scare tactics of the 1950s are not applicable to the 2020s because no one owns their house anymore and most of us would prefer our house being owned by our neighbor instead of our landlord.

The Red Scare tactics of the 1950s are sooooooooo outdated in today’s world. Saying shit like “Under communism, the government will assign you a job and you will not get to pick!” would make 85% of my generation be like “That sounds awesome, I’m so sick of AI job interviews, just got rejected for the job I applied for shoveling elephant shit at the zoo.”

That just sounds like job security with fewer steps

Resteraunt servers have the funniest and most surreal workplace stories of any profession. They have the job that mean nurses think they have. The entire world is working against them the entire shift. And then you feel terrible for laughing. It’s not funny that you tripped and spilled an entire ice tea all over a toddler and the kid started screaming at the top of his lungs. Nobody was having a good day, thank God it wasn’t a hot coffee. That’s not funny. I did laugh so hard tears started rolling down my face when you recounted this mortifying ordeal though.

Hospitality is similar. I watched a guy try to push a bell cart (square peg) through a revolving door (round hole with triangular dividers)... and then he got mad at us because he didn't see the other (square-shaped) doors on either side of the revolving one... the doors that the bellcarts were parked next to