Hi

someone fired a bullet through our bathroom wall the other day when we were gone, which is scary (but probably accidental), but the weirdest part is that we can’t actually find the place where it entered from outside... the wall inside is fucked up and you can see the hole where it came through, but there is no corresponding entrance hole on the exterior of the house. somehow the outer paneling was undamaged.

This is the most American post I have ever seen

“someone fired a bullet through my asbestos from a car chase” yeah fair

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

History is not done with us yet my friend

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

I’ll admit it, OP. As soon as you mentioned your family had a lemon tree in their yard I wanted to ask you how they were dealing with the whore infestation.

I did this with a fig tree once while hungover as shit and on a walk of shame. Best damn figs I ever ate in my LIFE.

when i was a teenager in san diego i was an absolutely unrepentant orange thief. climbed a fence to reach a particularly good pomegranate too. scrumping is a noble tradition of whores stretching back centuries and i won’t hear a word against it

diet culture has killed millions and that is not an exaggeration. the size of your body is the least interesting thing about you. please stay alive.

The Murderbot Diaries are a power fantasy about being aromantic and still developing extremely important dedicated emotionally intimate partnerships where you are a top priority in a person's life, equal to their other family or romantic attachments despite your own emotional difficulties. And having guns in your arms

Thank you. I hope everybody thinks this

I absolutely fucking hate this. Gold star, no notes.

me immediately after hanging out with someone: was i Weird and Cringe. do i need to be imprisoned