:^)

You know I'm lazy. I'm a klutz, I fuck up all the time, I like to complain and moan, I'm probably condescending. But sometimes I'm kind of funny on the internet, which is what really matters.

the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated

at the bus stop showing a stranger the picture of the devil that I keep in my wallet

therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now

all the people saying this is their dad in real life: I know, I use reddit 🫩 I have for sure read his r/AITA

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

high as fuck lowballing never worn baby shoe listings

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

Let’s see what you can do bagel

"my son tried to introduce me to Green Day's music after finding it out on youtube" he knew about Green Day for one day and immediately told you about it but you let that young boy reach puberty without telling him about the best worst pop punk band of all time. i am on his side.

it's not surprising, of course. to many, a dog being euthanized for attacking a person is a tragedy. poor thing was in a bad environment you see, it didn't deserve to die. and to many, every criminal should be put to death. they are inherently cruel and cannot change, any sentence more lenient than death is an injustice to their victims. why might a dog maul someone? well clearly the poor thing was a victim, it was circumstance that spurred it to violence. why might a person mug someone? clearly they have a corrupt soul, incapable and unworthy of empathy. they were spurred to criminality by their own sick nature. so to say, in their eyes, a human criminal is less human than a dog

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c