butter me up bucky

It's dishonest work and it's a lot. And nobody needs to do it

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

This was a complaint about a one-time incident of me having to get up at 3:30am to catch a flight idk about how some of you in the notes seem to be living on a regular basis

i called up the jerk store and asked if they had you in stock. They said they actually have way too many of you because nobody wants to buy you. You may think this is a compliment or a silly little reversal, but you would be wrong. The man on the phone explained that despite your significant overstocking at the jerk store, nobody wants to buy you because you are simply too much of a jerk. You are too much of a jerk for the jerk store. That is the point of my annecdote. Anyway, the divorce hearing is on Thursday at 4:45. Yeah in the morning.

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

wishing all artists a very sincere "get weirder with it" this coming year

i don’t have any other followers it’s actually just you and me here

playing this new game called indeed.com and it fucking sucks