i used to be a green onion

blood test came back haunted

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

oh my god the original out in the wild

“vampires suck” yeah and they swallow too btw

blood too. I guess

I’m 2016 I had a shoplifter role play blog because to avoid getting deleted all the shoplifting blogs claimed it was just to rp. Mine actually was though but I’d post shoplifting content and reblog tips and my “hauls” were just stuff I borrowed from my much more fashionable sister. I had a decent amount of followers and I got a lot of hate but I’d be like “ok buddy I’m just goofing around lol” and then post $150 of Sephora products legally purchased by my sister with the caption #gettingawaywithit. this did not improve my life but it did get me talking to people more often which, obviously, I needed

i was meant to be someones spoiled and mischievous house cat

I'm high as fuck at medieval times and trying so hard to look normal. My friend pointed at a QR code and went "What is the meaning of this Rune..." and I almost threw up trying not to laugh

my silly little jester costume for the play I’m in is so fire you all wish you were me

no one has ever jingle jangled like I’m jingle jangling now

post cancelled they de-belled my costume for sound design reasons

Neutered

“gentle reminder-” VIOLENT FORGET !!! ❌

the curse is lifted! you are no a beast no more! congratulations! but you'll never forget the way they looked at you, will you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, weird or stupid. You matter.

what happens if im all 3?

All three??

Really?

onion rings but it goes to voicemail