50% sea, 50% weed, 100% knife

the abilities of the average tenor saxophone player

Actually that's an alto

worrkkkkk Cashier person WORKKKKKK

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

sharing a wikipedia page is romantic

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

everyone reblogging this and saying some version of "but then odysseus would be home in 10 minutes" how does it feel to be funnier than me on my own post

baseball players in the 20s were all named shit like Dipsy Doodle and Crunch Johnson

#they named them like cats in a shelter