The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.
went to look this tweet up so I could rt it and discovered this is the same dude as the tubthumping tweet masterpiece
dirt enthusiast
noise dept.
Three Goblin Art
NASA
Today's Document

JBB: An Artblog!
Cosmic Funnies

izzy's playlists!
YOU ARE THE REASON

if i look back, i am lost
ojovivo

Origami Around
DEAR READER
todays bird
tumblr dot com
Show & Tell

titsay
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@bunnyonthemoon
The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.
went to look this tweet up so I could rt it and discovered this is the same dude as the tubthumping tweet masterpiece

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Venom But With Hannibal Dialogue
OP where’s the Hannibal but with Venom quotes
Y’all asked, and here you go. Hannibal with Venom quotes:
The Hannibal dialogue makes Venom more deep, and the Venom dialogue just removes Hannibal’s filter.
Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.
Why is that?
Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that they’re leaving the alarm key in the alarm because it’s always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.
The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guard’s voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.
The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically can’t make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.
The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, “Anal use only”. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. There’s no way around it, they’re going to catch you. And you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’ve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say “Anal use only” and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.
The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know there’s no way in hell that would work.
The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.
The Team attempts to break into the high security room but can’t because it’s randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.
The Team steals a keycard with “””””unlimited””””” access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.
The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, “We are here to rob you”. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.
This sounds like a great movie, honestly

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Pride, 2021
Six of Swords
did they ever track down the baby born at dashcon?
you know, the dashcon baby… the baby born in the ballpit at dashcon
what
Th e
What
the dashcon baby
at dashcon, a late term pregnant lady (there for a writing panel i believe) arrived, and while going around the “event”, her water broke around 2 months earlier than expected, and began to go into labour, there was a huge traffic jam because of, you know, and driving to the hospital was out of the question, so they called an ambulance. But the thing is, because of the traffic jam, it took over 40 minutes, and she was going into labour NOW. A nurse in training there took over and had to deal with the woman, so they took the ballpit, being the best thing they could think of in the mostly empty area, cleared some of the balls away, and had to use that as a surface to deliver the baby. Around 5 minutes before they got there, they managed to deliver the baby, (thankfully) in a safe state.
great post everybody
I helped!

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THIS IS KILLING ME
A compilation of my favorite tweets on yesterday’s news
Are you a friend of Bobby Drake?
emma frost would ask this and people would be like "is she's asking if i'm gay or if i'm an x men?" and she would say "theyre synonymous"
Happy Pride Month! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
How I simultaneously avoid and indulge in dumb internet drama.

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St*phanie Meyer: Vampires are all sexy heterosexual white British rich kids who are geniuses and—
Taika Waititi: Shut the FUCK up every vampire is bisexual and a MORON
See also
Various directors: Superheroes are all sexy heterosexual white rich kids who are geniuses and—
Taika Waititi: Shut the FUCK up every superhero is bisexual and a MORON
i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd
this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”
the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice.
To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.
Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,