Abandone All Hole, Ye Who Enter Here

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

I asked my 3-year-old son Jebthony what he thought about the government and he said "Donald Trump is a perfidious tyrant and his machinations must be opposed" and I said "Shit, dude, those are some big-ass words for a 3-year-old" and he said "You can see how I have already surpassed even you, mother. Soon I will be terrible and inexorable, like a god." Kids are so cute ❤️

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

People have been saying stuff for years at this point

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me