Abandone All Hole, Ye Who Enter Here

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

I asked my 3-year-old son Jebthony what he thought about the government and he said "Donald Trump is a perfidious tyrant and his machinations must be opposed" and I said "Shit, dude, those are some big-ass words for a 3-year-old" and he said "You can see how I have already surpassed even you, mother. Soon I will be terrible and inexorable, like a god." Kids are so cute ❤️

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

People have been saying stuff for years at this point

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me