Dying Inside

Maybe; one day, I'll love myself as much as I love others

Recovery feels worse than the cold water running through my body to my no longer empty stomach

My mind is jumping through my stomach but my heart is scratching at my wrists

I learned how to zip up my dresses. I learned how to snap on my bracelets. I learned how to be independant but baby as soon as I saw those mezmorizing blue eyes i knew i needed you.

I am the perfect, stereotypical example of a girl with anorexia

And at night, when all i want to do is feel your arms around my body, I cry because i know you arent here

Im am a coursing ocean. Running on only crashing waves of despair and the salted wounds from my past.

I didnt wanna die i just didnt wanna live a life without you

You cant plan for the past

It looks like a war zone in here, a complete blood bath. A war I can never win because I am the only one fighting

Wishing my thighs would split open

Purging hurts so bad but feels so good

There are a billion fish in the sea but youre the only fish for me

You said forever. I didnt know it had an expiration date.

Has your heart ever screamed no as your body screamed yes