#recovering

16:35h

So i recently reopened my note on my phone where i have all my girlblog and Pinterest related content and hum… well wtf.

I was away and i took a biggg break of my Pinterest girlblog because my mental health was shit and things there weren’t helping but omfg. The things i wrote in my note app are so horrible and vile and the worst thing is that they’re about me. That caused me to kind of relapse in ed and shit lol. I wrote that in a very depressive part of my life and a part where i would star ve myself frequently. Thankfully i got help, talked to my therapist and all, but now i don’t know what to do. The idea of eating rebukes me and all these things i have written omg.

I feel like I’ve let myself down. It’s pretty sad actually, that someone as young as me feels this way about her body. I think i have to eat again. If it’s not for me, then it will be for my little sisters. So they will see me get better and maybe they will understand that recovering is possible.

I’m capable of this.

recently i have left the radqueer community alongside with the l0l1sho community due to it making me spiral and go into rabbit holes i shouldn’t have gone into.

i still suffer with the mental issues i suffered from during my time as a radqueer, but with the help of therapy it has helped me get through recovery

i do not to hold the extremist beliefs radqueers have anymore

i will not be going too in depth in how i joined the community

"Thought when I lost that will to live... I could never feel again."