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I headcanon that Nick has mild PTSD from the moment he thought Judy was dead.
Like:
Nick knows that as soon as Judy has a case, it's almost the only thing on her mind until it's solved. She'll plow forward sans sleep, food, or any other basic survival need until it's all said and done.
None of it mattered if it meant bringing someone to justice and making the world a better place.
And Nick loves that about her, he really does. But he also loves her. Of course he does.
Ever since her first "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."
That's why he spent an entire day and a half desperately following Judy every step of the way. Everything he had done was for her, fleeing from the law, staying close to keep her safe despite all of the stubbornness and shenanigans. Most importantly, save her when she repeatedly put the case above her own life.
She almost drowned for bucks sake
And then she was pulled away from him by a collapsing building, almost falling to her death.
But was saved, just barely, by a snake he barely knew anything about and a Lynx he didn't quite trust.
All of that in the wake of their fight, the look of sorrow and doubt on Judy's face burned in the back of his mind.
"No one will question whether you and I belong together again" had turned into "maybe we are...different."
There was nothing he could do as he watched the Lynx carry her away, she had never felt so far away.
All he had wanted was to run away with her.
And then Nick found himself standing in a cell, pouring out the words he regretted not saying, to a quirky podcasting beaver.
He appreciated her company in that moment at least.
Next thing he knew, he’d escaped and was being driven faster than should have been physically possible by a Sloth to get back to Judy.
And yet all he could think was-
Drive faster!
Finally, they got to the wall and it took him a few (terrifying) minutes to get inside but he did and then he couldn't freaking find her.
The desperation to find her grew the longer he looked, so close yet so far. The panic and fear rose in him every second that ticked by. It was almost unbearable.
...Then the rooftop happened.
He turned around and there was the Lynx, approaching him slowly with this look in his eyes.
A look of sadness but not quite guilt.
That's when he saw it, in his paw. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, but he knew what its purpose was.
But even in the face of death, there was only one thing on his mind.
"Where is she?" He demanded.
"She...she didn't make it."
That's the moment.
That's the moment the air left Nick's lungs. That's the moment he felt his heart drop into his stomach, and despair took its place.
She didn't make it.
Judy's gone.
Judy's dead.
That's the moment his entire world was ripped away from him. Forever.
No.
No.
He tried to say it out loud, but the word didn't get past his throat.
Suddenly, the Lynx was on him, and he's not sure how, but he still found the strength to fight back.
Then, he heard the snake's voice, saw Judy and he had hope again.
And that's all he needed.
—
Then:
Days later, after the party at the De'Snake home, after their names were cleared with the ZPD and they got their jobs back. After the totally completely platonic slip up of "Love you partner" that bled too close to the truth, everything should have gone back to normal. Everything had gone back to normal.
They went to work, wrote up reports, patrolled the city as the Hopps and Wilde dream team they were always meant to be, and then they went back to their respective homes to sleep and do it all over again. Everything was normal, Judy was safe, Nick felt like he could breathe again.
That's when the nightmares started.
Nick had barely slept since the night before the Zootenial Gala. The excitement of chasing leads and uncovering the truth, the adrenaline from running and fighting for their lives, the chaos of the aftermath of it all, had not been kind to his sleep schedule. Not that he was complaining. He was the happiest he’d ever been in his entire life. How could he not be? He finally had a pack.
It was late, almost midnight. A yawn tore its way out of his mouth as he stepped over an empty pizza box on the way to his bedroom. The thought of cleaning his apartment crossed his mind, but, meh. Who has time for that when there’s a whole city to save? Ahem, I mean serve.
But when he turned to close his bedroom door he caught a glance of his couch. Suddenly, the mental image of him and Judy sitting on it together materialized in his brain.
For a moment, Nick let himself imagine what it would be like to sit there with her and watch TV. The calm contentedness of being near her even when they’re not at work, just them relaxing together, laughing and eating snacks together, to be in ignorant bliss of the world outside. To be able to sit on his own couch and finally not have the feeling of wanting to be anywhere else..
Perhaps it’s not the worst idea.
But, that was a problem for future Nick. He sighed and closed his door and flipped the lightswitch. The sheets on his bed were nice and cold as he fell into them and put his paws behind his head. With a final sigh, he closed his eyes and let sleep take him.
—
Nick let out a grunt as he fell against a wall. What? The house was tilting. He took in his surroundings. No, not a house. The Honeymoon Lodge. It was breaking, torn in half, it was going to fall! But if Nick was here, where was.. He frantically looked around.
“Judy!!” He shouted, spinning to look in every direction, “Judy where are you?”
He heard her scream and wasted no time running towards the direction of the sound, dodging falling planks and avoiding the grasps of their fellow ZPD officers all over again. The sound of wood groaning and snapping intensified around him. It was almost deafening. He couldn’t keep his balance, the floor was swaying, he slammed into another wall. Hurry!
“Nick!” She yelled.
“Judy!” Nick could hear the panic in his voice. His lungs burned, but he had to keep going. Nothing would stop him from getting to her. He ran up a flight of stairs and that’s when he saw her, desperately hanging on to a broken rafter. Her body dangling hundreds of feet above the ground. Judy reached an arm out towards him.
“Nick!!”
He ran to the edge and stuck his arm out to her as well. But she was too far away, just barely out of reach. “Come on, come on, come on!” He strained as he stretched as far as he could. Their paws brushed, she was just in reach, but then-
She fell.
“No no no no! Judy!!” Nick cried as he watched Judy fall and disappear into the cloud of dust below, knowing there was nothing underneath to break her fall. There was nothing he could do.
No..
“Couldn’t save her eh?” Came a voice from behind him, along with the sound of cracking knuckles, “What a shame.”
Nick turned just in time to see a fist coming at his face and-
—
Green eyes snapped open with a gasp. He shot up and looked around. “Judy!?” He called out to the darkness. She wasn’t there. He was at his apartment, it took him a moment to realize. Nick ran a paw over his ears and forced himself to take deep breaths. It was a dream.
Nick looked at the clock on his bedside table.
4:58 AM
It was just a bad dream. A terrible, awful, horrifically bad dream. A dream he will never think about ever again for as long as he lives. He laid back down and put his paws on his chest, an attempt to slow his heart rate. Usually, after you wake up from a nightmare, you get a sense of relief from realizing it was just a dream. His hadn’t come yet.
Nick could still feel the dread and panic in his chest, the desperation to save her continued to course through his whole body. He took some more deep breaths. The visual of Judy falling to her death, arm outstretched and pure terror plastered on her face, played over and over in his mind clear as day. In through the nose, out through the mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to reassure himself it was just a dream. Breathe. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.
...Right?
He threw the blankets back and jumped out of bed.
—
“Order for Nick?” Called out the barista. Nick glanced at his watch before he stepped forward and grabbed the two coffee cups.
5:29 AM
Judy always set her alarm for 5:30 every morning, even on weekends. He only knew that because she told him once, as if she was proud of it. As if it wasn’t the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. Nick would scoff at the memory if he wasn’t so on edge. He wasted 6 minutes in that coffee shop waiting for their drinks. But how else was he supposed to show up at her place unannounced so early in the morning? He couldn’t just show up for seemingly no reason, she’d ask questions. What would he tell her then? The truth?? That sort of thing was reserved for only after near death experiences.
Her apartment building came into view and Nick had to physically stop himself from starting to run. He needed to see her. He needed to make sure that she was okay, that she was safe. That she was alive.
Once inside, he carefully balanced one coffee on top of the other as he approached her door. He gave a firm but gentle knock. Standing in front of her apartment did little to help ease the nerves writhing around in him. He checked his watch again.
5:34 AM
Nick leaned forward and pressed an ear against the wood, he didn’t hear any sound behind it. Why was there no sound? She should be awake by now. She should have opened the door by now. Getting the coffees was a mistake. He should have ran here. Why didn't he run?? The red hot panic in Nick's chest flared in full force, like a grease fire doused in flour. He raised his paw again and knocked harder, louder, more urgent. Two, three, four more seconds went by and he couldn’t wait any more. Nick took a step back and braced himself to kick the door—right next to the lock, like he was trained to in the academy—when he heard the lock click.
The door opened slowly, and a squinty and disheveled Judy appeared. The fur on her head was going in crazy directions and the faded pink polka-dotted pajamas she wore were wrinkled. She looked half asleep and absolutely beautiful.
“Nick? What are you doing here?” She asked in a sleepy voice.
Relief washed over him completely. Finally. She's here. She's safe. Judy's alive. It felt like the sky had poured an elephant sized bucket of ice water over him on a scorching hot day and washed the panic right off him. It pooled on the ground at his feet, no longer squeezing him indefinitely from the inside. Nick let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled, he held out a coffee cup.
“Hey, Carrots.”
—------
This is just a roundabout way of saying I think Nick gets nightmares from that moment because honestly who wouldn't? Imagine you genuinely believe that the person you care about love most in the world is dead for a few minutes. Someone you spent so much time and effort to keep safe because they meant that much to you. That would destroy someone, even for a moment. And then to live with the fear of ever feeling like that again burned in the back of your subconscious until it manifests itself into your worst nightmares.
Anyway I have more planned for this so if you like it please let me know and I'll consider uploading to ao3(:
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I'm back to embarrassing Nick, my favorite pass time.
If you're wondering Gary's fang grew back by this point.
I'm ready to post this and then in a few hours notice I have a spelling or art mistake, even after proff checking it over and over. If you see one don't tell me. Let me live in ignorant bliss.
I finaly have managed time to draw this art !
Here is the drawing won by MegaEevee101 in the last Give Away Art Challenge i have proposed on DeviantArt, with a Christmas Theme. This proposition have won the pool selection, even if the scores were really close… I’m late on this, and i’m sorry. My health is really bad since some weeks, and it will not get better before a long time… But I’m really happy to have been able to make this drawing, and i think it’s pretty cool. Just sad that the winner seems to have delete his deviantart account… But all of you, who have voted for this proposition, this is your reward !
I think i will draw at least three other propositions that were on the list, because they were really inspirating ! But i will not tell you which ones. It’s a surprise.
And i know, it’s not christmas anymore, since i’m out of time… But i think we can enjoy this, whatsoever !
Have a nice day !
PS : and if you want to follow the creation of this art, step by step, check my last journal entries on DeviantArt, where i have explained everything.
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Sweet heavens. Does anyone else get that feeling where something is so cute that it actually physically hurts in your chest. I love this comic soooo much!!!
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