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His tomato🍅

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David and Yuna are clearing out their attic, and they come over with a box of Shane's old childhood stuff to see if there's anything Shane (but realistically, Ilya) wants to keep.
As Shane and Ilya are going through the box, Ilya pulls out a little Centaurs branded notebook, with "Shane's Fun Facts!" written on the front in sharpie. Ilya is understandably delighted.
"What is this?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear, quickly yanking it out of the reach of Shane who immediately tries to swipe it out of his hands.
"It's nothing," says Shane, but the way his cheeks have gone pink behind his freckles tells another story.
"Uh-uh. It cannot be nothing if you don't want me to see it this badly."
Turning his back to Shane so he can't easily grab at it, Ilya opens to a random page and reads in Shane's 8-year-old scrawl:
Lightning bolts are five times hotter than the sun. That is very hot!
Ilya is grinning even wider now.
"Wow, Solnyshko, that is a fun fact."
"Fuck off," Shane says. He doesn't even attempt to grab it again, just kind of collapses and bonks his head into Ilya's shoulder. "I used to have trouble making friends as a kid. Dad suggested I start collecting facts to use as icebreakers. Y'know, to get conversations going."
"Did they work?" asks Ilya, tilting his head so that it rests on top of Shane's as his husband gives an almighty sigh.
"I think they made it worse, actually."
Ilya turns to another page and reads it out loud.
"Oology is the study of eggs. It's so cool because it looks like there are three eggs in the word!"
"Oh god," says Shane, burying his face further into Ilya's neck.
"I think you knew all the worst kids in Canada," says Ilya, putting down the book and wrapping his arms around Shane. "Those facts would have worked on me."
"Really?" asks Shane, glancing up at Ilya's face to see if he's teasing him, but Ilya is being perfectly serious.
"Of course. You came up to me and started telling me fun facts straight away, remember? 'I don't think you can smoke here.' 'Wow, Rozanov, you are the best player ever to watch.'"
"Fuck off, I didn't say that," laughs Shane.
"Well, it was something like that," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to the top of Shane's head. "So at least the fun facts worked when it mattered, yes? Imagine where we'd be if you hadn't come over to break the ice."
And Shane tugs Ilya even closer.
"I don't think I want to."
scott hunter, always at the scene of the crime
Credit: @blacksheepcolorfulskin
there's always some bullshit happening on reddit

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why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account
Happy MAMMA MIA! day to those who celebrate
A great place to donate to First Nations groups impacted by the ongoing wildfires 👇
True North Aid provides practical humanitarian support to northern and remote Indigenous communities in Canada through community-led project
Also consider Mikinakoos' as they're extending support beyond their traditional service areas due to the scale of this emergency!
Donations for Namaygoosisagagun First Nation:
Individuals who support the goals and vision of AN7GC can make a donation. The ways to donate: call us, mail your donation, use Paypal or Ca
Donations for Whitesand First Nation:
!!!SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!!!
yiou can only reblog this post on july 17th dont reblog it on any other day or you will be boiled
what the fuck
you can't boil me it's july 17th

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me: fuck, babe. does that feel good?
babe: Absolutely. This isn't just sex— it's a beautiful, intimate experience. ✨ Let me know if you want me to rephrase that orgasm, or if there's any other pussy I can help you with. 😃
I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD
Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️
Reblog to have your dashboard be visited by the spirit of joy that death can end but not erase.
Thank you to everyone who commented in their tags or messaged me. Indeed, today is “Martin and Bosco Day”. I originally whimsically blazed this photo on 13 July 2022. I never expected Martin and Bosco to travel so far and make so many new friends. The experience has been such a gift for me.
i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shane’s side alone, ilya’s side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.
Wow genetic!!!

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Half the backlash to fat lib content essentially boils down to "I can't believe you're FORCING me to not be mean to you"
Thin people are absolutely relentless with this. "But I have to TELL them!" "I can't just not SAY something!" "We can't just PRETEND it's fine to be fat!"
They really seem to think the main reason people are fat is because we're simply drowning in approval and no one has been brave enough to inform us that it's better to not be fat, actually
bonus: