Denial Permanente

In our relationship I am the one with the higher libido. Sometimes it was difficult because his dick is a bit on the smaller side and he just does not have the staying power. I am the one who brought up chastity to him. I know this isn't usually the way it goes but I was looking for some new porn for my "private time" when I saw some videos of men wearing these cages and being unlocked and teased. The idea was kind of, well, not hot but interesting enough to ask my husband to try it.

After going through a few different cages we found one that he could wear 24/7. We already had a strapon that he would wear once in a while, but after he got comfortable with his cage I asked him to wear it every time we fucked. While he was very good at going down on me, our new arrangement made him more passionate and more endowed, and he was able to give me the good hard fuck that I really wanted.

Essentially, just like your captions I kept him denied and horny and replaced his dick with a much nicer one. 😈

After a couple of months I began seriously wondering about how it would be to keep him permanently caged or at least for really long times. He wasn't happy about the idea (not surprised) but we kept talking about it and eventually we came to an arrangement. He had to stay caged, but once every week or two I would unlock him and let him come however he wanted, from my hands, mouth, rubbing himself on me or whatever. The only rules were that I had the final decision to unlock him, and that my pussy would be off limits and was reserved for his strapon dick.

We have been doing this for about two years. I have slowly got him down to only being unlocked once a month and now I get to choose how he comes. Sometimes I give him a long teasing hand job, sometimes I let him rub his dick on me (he likes my ass lol) and sometimes I make him do it himself while I watch and give instructions. I have figured out that I don't care about the denial but I do love having the control. That's why I won't give this up. Well, that and the big dick I make him wear!

He was okay with this arrangement for a while but lately he has been saying that he misses being inside me. I like to remind him that now I'm used to much bigger and longer lasting that it would be selfish of him to even ask. I want to say that I do not feel the least bit guilty. He really does enjoy our arrangement, and he knows why I've decided to continue it. But I wonder how you deal when your husband tells you that he misses being inside you or wants to be unlocked?

Thanks for a great blog and sounding board!

Rita

Hi Rita.. . I'm sorry that it took so long to get to this... You have an interesting story... most of the stories I hear seem to be men with higher libido and a kinky mind who try to convince their wives to lock them up. And most of the women I've chatted with don't like their men to look at porn lol.

The idea of guilt comes up a lot in the questions that I get. I think it's normal, especially at first... after all, most of us are socialized to think about sex being a mutual pleasure. One sided pleasure is almost always seen as something a woman does for a man. Think about it... we often see scenes in movies where it is implied that a woman gives her man some oral, but when do we ever see it implied that the man does the same for the woman? The woman being the focus of the sexual pleasure just isn't something we see portrayed so it's normal to wonder at some point if it's "okay" to be that way.

I remember in our chats you said that your husband had a much lower libido but since you caged him it seems to have increased. It's possible that he was... taking care of things himself, and now he can't. Or maybe he has more interest because men want what they can't have. Either way this works out better for you, doesn't it? 😂

You set the rules for your no-penetration marriage, which means that at some point you can also change them if you want. Obviously you should be talking to your husband about it, because you may find that his input will help you feel less guilty. I mean, if he discovers that he is satisfied with your intimate life, then you will probably feel a lot more comfortable keeping him denied. And if he is not satisfied, then maybe more frequent orgasms might help him become more accepting. And as you've said, for you it's less about the denial or being locked and more about the control... so you may find that you're comfortable giving him more orgasms in exchange for making yourself off limits.

My husband has never asked to be unlocked... except before we go to the airport or if he's going on a long bike ride, of course. But in all the years I've had him locked, and especially in the past 8, he has never begged or suggested or even hinted. I know it's hard for him because I see it in his face but he also likes the challenge.

It doesn't mean that I didn't feel guilty, because sometimes I did. That's one of the reasons why we took breaks from it (this was years ago).

I think that I stopped feeling guilty just from doing this for so long. Can I deny him a month? Two months? 3 months? 6 months? Each time going just one more month helped me to get used to it, and see that our marriage isn't suffering, our relationship is still good (it actually got better!), and that none of his parts fell off.

Even after all these years he still misses my touch and being inside me, but instead of feeling guilty that makes me feel desired and loved. Honestly I'd be worried if he said he didn't miss me because then I'd feel like he didn't care, if that makes sense. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've enjoyed our chats, and I'm sorry that it took so long for me to answer this. I hope you write again to tell us how things are going with you and your new arrangement.