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@booleman
most important sideblogs : @grantairekisser , @elephsnant , @terravoxpussyinspector . enjoy .

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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funny idea i just got for an Eridian character. meet Hardtack
like a sick victorian child
Where’s that one post that’s like Reasons Why My Wife Cried This Week and when are we gonna get a fanfic of that but Ryland Grace.
Reasons my human has cried:
* New student, very small. Grace said it was pebble. Pebble is small Earth rock. Pebble likes name.
* He found out Eridians have no gender rules.
* Students brought him mineral sample. After he stopped crying he said he loves show-and-tell game. Human naming conventions oddly literal.
* I told him Earthsun grew bright.
* I took him up atop atmosphere bypass elevator to look at stars.
* He woke up from nap and found me still with him. I did not wait on his chest; he says I am heavy like “elephant” and he “couldn’t breathe.” I laid my arm over him instead, kept him close, feeling safe. He said “cuddle” was warm.
* Before class he heard younglings singing.
* He has plants in house from sprouts on ship. Plant grew “bud.”
* Engineers got seawater temperature right. He took off shoes and stood in water, sighing. He didn’t care about pants getting damp. Cried until shirt was also damp. Humans very endlessly wet.
* He missed “Doritos.”
* Adrian helped food scientists make taumoeba dried paste. Made it crunchy after heating. We fused it into triangle form. Told him it was Tauritos. That made him laugh-cry. Laugh-cry is rare and precious.
* He remembered Eridians have no gender rules.
* We made him celebration outfit. Used metals he calls pretty. He can see frequencies named “colorful” and “shiny.” These make humans happiest.
* I gave him hug when he wasn’t expecting it. Easier to hug close now with exosuit. Hug when Grace sitting down so he does not fall over.
* Told him to think long time, stay with me as long as he can.
Can you imagine being stuck in space completely alone with only the corpses of your friends for company, and the first living thing you meet after 46 years of that misery is a fucking weird alien creature who just rolls up with crazy advanced tech and goes "hi let's work together" and makes it possible for you to save your world through the power of friendship and molecular biology. AND THEN you find out that in this creature's language, its name means "mercy". Happened to my good friend Rocky btw
they should serve eggnog year round as a controversial milk
meant an alternative milk .
me and the family when the eggnog issue comes up
It’s uncomfortable how the cutting board and cabinets split the picture in halves.
It's meant to symbolize the division created by the eggnog

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big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings
they couldnt take the heat
great job everyone lets hit the showers
Not again
gentle reminder that you can’t get this kind of nonsense from any other site
it always comes back to skyrim somehow.
Stretching birdie
hi my name is destiel nevada putin elec’tion covid way and i have long ebony black hair
@hellsite-hall-of-fame idk if you've done this yet

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Random PHM things.
Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is
Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.
His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.
gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther
#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"
tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc.
wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades
Sorry it’s what to elves
So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth). But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven. To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk. So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.
This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.
Legolas said fuck the horizon
God I fucking love high fantasy
There's a joke here to be made about Ellie Arroway's "they should have sent a poet" and "wouldn't it be easier to teach astronauts how to take photos than to teach photographers to be astronauts"
Joan of Arc
[id: a black-and-white comic of joan of arc. she is depicted as a sturdy young woman with chin-length dark hair. she is shown spitting out blood, more smeared on her face as her expression contorts in anger. “joan is more violent than often depicted,” the narration reads. a shot of her standing with a neutral expression and arms at her sides is shown. “younger, too. less blonde. her genius was not in strategy (where she’d often in her passion forget defense),” it continues, “but in the way she reached out to others.” her outstretched hand, a scar covering her palm, is shown.
“she didn’t just bring a torch to the dark corners of apathy,” continues the narration over a shot of a torch in hand, and then cut to white: “she lit the room.” joan is then shown extending a sword, arrows flying at her and beams of light surrounding her. “the maiden of prophecy, leading the french, who were so broken, to victory.” she interacts with other soldiers. “war weariness beat back by a teenage girl—”
joan is shown standing in a field, arms loose at her side. “she was small and stocky,” continues the narration. joan smiles slightly as a close-up of her face is shown, showing birthmarks and uneven eyes. “she had the olive skin of a farmer and common face. she hid a birthmark behind her ear, a kiss left by a saint that whispered there,” the narration reads as that gentle ghostly kiss is shown.
“she yelled orders through pain,” the narration continues over shots of her screaming and angry. “she shouted at generals.” and then joan is shown against darkness, crying as the narration continues, “she whispered goodbyes and prayers in ruined fields of the dead.” fade to white. “she was volatile and headstrong and resilient. even her image, burned three times,” continues the narration over a shot of smoke billowing up, “stays.” /end id.]
Outdoor cat owners have no concept of basic ecology and it shows. "You're saying my kitty is EVIL for following its instincts???????" obviously not, you idiot, its an animal. I don't blame it because it is designed to hunt and doesn't understand human morality. The cat's human owner, though, should stop pretending that millions of people letting their pets hunt native species for fun WON'T make their ecossystem collapse. If you stop hearing birdsong in your neighborhood its your fault 👍.
Also cats are domestic animals????? Its your pet. Its your responsability to take care of it and it certainly doesn't look like you are doing this if your pet spends 90% of the day on the streets. Outside cats are in great risk for being ran over, stolen, beaten, poisoned, mauled or eaten by wild animals. A mildly bored cat is way better than a dead one and besides? Just offer your pet enrichment. You don't need to risk its life to keep it happy. You can even let it outside with supervision!! Look how many options we have. Insisting the only way to keep your cat happy is allowing it to wreck the environment and possibly die is not only fucking irresponsible, but also lazy and shows that you don't really care for the wildlife around you.

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i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers
i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently
I actually don't care if Daniel Craig is queer irl and the queerbaiting discourse is beneath me. He put his whole bondussy into flirting with Q and that is what matters to me. Eviserate that boffin STAT 🫵