TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZA BALL

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

Hm… Mario’sa saw an ad in the newspaper for’a part time job! Mario’sa gonna take it! It’a seems like easy pay! Yahoo!

Why are they moving.

Wild that folks keep saying beekeepers abuse bees as if bees are not both venomous flying animals and fully unionized

Hubris to think you COULD abuse bees

I think that if you see a balrog in an unlocked kitty kennel then you can assume that it wants to be there

It is so fucking bold of you to link the exact same paywalled book thirteen times in your reblog to throw people off the fact that you're using one source from 1859.

I don't think there's ever been a funnier vegan response in the history of this hell site. This is actual gold. If you cited an argument like this in a first year undergrad intro to bio module, then your lecturer would be legally entitled to fire you out of a cannon. I think I'm dying

experiencing adolescence in the 2010s has fucked my perspective of the word “epic” totally beyond repair. i will forever view it in the same league as words like “awesomesauce” and “legitness” im sorry. theres just no going back

Shouts out to Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and someone else I forget who tbh

a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog

sonic heritage post

I’ve never seen this one before and it just punched me in the fucking face.

Just like Knuckles did to Sonic

if i have one more person say sparkles on this post im gonna blow i swear to god

what the fuck. comics are magic

somebody put a quimpsy spurl on my blorbo

she quimps on my jarns til I nittles

getting increasingly confused trying to have sex with my point and click wife but she just keeps saying “you cant use that here”

i have the ancient sarcophagus and the cuckoo clock. what the fuck else do i need man

Getting spit on an inanimate object shouldn't be arrestable anyway

💛