Just a dude

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

its so much and its dishonest work

employment

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

This is gonna be the phone in bed that saves me

Imagine all the things I could do if I just did them.

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun

no i actually cant fit doing this thing that takes 5 minutes into my schedule sorry :/ i only have the entire day free i just cant

tbh i think no matter how much people try to optimize intentionally-produced stim toys nothing will ever top Some Piece Of Crap You Found At A Yard Sale 15 Years Ago or perhaps Garbage

one of newton's lesser-known laws is that if you reload something that is buffering, it will start playing at the precise moment your finger completes the motion to refresh the tab

omg some of you are dumb. that's not newton, that's special relativity.. ya know, einstein!!

your special relative pounded me into the mattress last night. happy mother's day.

I’m putting in my too weak notice.