cPTSD be like: finally getting security and stability in life. Suddenly reliving painful past long forgotten.
Brain during survival mode: We can vaguely recall The Instances, but you know they happened and so do I. Here's some emotions from years ago because x reminded you of y. Oh shit nvm, you numbed it out. Wait, are you ignoring me? You are. Fine, then. I'll check back next Tuesday.
The brain, during a phase of safety and relative security in life: OMG BRO, YOU'RE FINALLY OKAY. HERE, TAKE THESE VISCERAL FLASHBACKS. TAKE THEM. TAKE THE NIGHTMARES. REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED? REMEMBER? HUH?? W-WAIT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IF I KEEP DOING THIS IT WILL MAKE MAINTAINING THE STABILITY IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE EVER AGAIN???
#I'm not only in a metaphorical burning building: I feel like I am the building. dilapidated and going down. toughest of all is--#I'm down for the count but it's so easy to just metaphorically lie there in the fire + see nothing good coming out of this long-term.#but I must find reasons to get back up or else I will go kaput in said metaphorical burning building.#even if the natural will to want to get back up is gone.#cptsd
