I go outside regularly

no you don't

okay fine I go outside weirdly

It’s a tony soprano summer

What this means

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

"I asked chatgpt-" yeah well I asked rum tum tugger and he said I ought to ask magical mr mistoffelees the original conjuring cat

Your body must be rested and fed if you wish to be a pervert.

I love ruined castles so much we should build a bunch of castles for no reason and then hit them with hammers to ruin them up a bit. Put a chest with a rusty shortsword in a few. For hikers to enjoy

this baby Blue Heron killed the dinosaurs.

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

hey, I was just at the Kroger, I think I just saw your living weapon look both ways sheepishly before scanning her dehumanizing barcode tattoo to see what would happen. it rang up as a Mountain Dew voltage. so like, is that intentional or

Reminder that Kroger and their "family" of subsidiary companies (Dillons, King Soopers, Safeway, Harris Teeter, Gerbes, JayC, etc) are a monopoly that has been driving independent grocery stores out of business and artificially inflating food prices since the 1950s.

i'll tell my friends to take their brainwashed living weapons and homunculi elsewhere then

I love this addition

STOP BEING FUNNIER THAN ME

I feel bad when I watch Alice in Wonderland because this poor little girl is lost and this rude ass atheist caterpillar keeps vaping in her face… poor kid