carrying a valise in the shape of a fish

“Homophobes think about gay sex more than gay people do” WRONG I’m winning I promise you I’m winning

“I can carry my own bags” he said… Well if I can’t carry your baby and the heir to our combined hockey legacies who is also the next generations hockey superstar then I might as well carry your god damn bag.

words cannot describe how much i love showering. my wet contemplative box

i feel like i just walked past jesus in a hot topic

They should block chatgpt on uni WiFi the way they used to block coolmathgames

they should make chatgpt automatically redirect to coolmathgames so you can actually fucking learn something

Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

"that doesn't sound sincere- it sounds rehearsed" is one of the most devastating and fucked-up statements you can make to anyone in the neurodivergent/ADHD/Autistic/Schizophrenic/Disordered Personality sphere. yeah bitch it's rehearsed. because i wanted to get it right when i said it

I’ve recently discovered how much better life can be when we normalize this. My best friend and I have started saying “hang on, I’m scripting” when we need a minute to mentally rehearse during big conversations (and “bear with me, I’m doing improv” when we’ve reached the end of our script and start to struggle with words lol)