skibidiah shrimp dick

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

I am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

I go outside regularly

no you don't

okay fine I go outside weirdly

That awkward moment when youre a female and you realize 2 men making out and rubbing their cocks together is lowkey kind of awesome

video game secret: there's clever wordplay hidden in the title of the game "nintendogs". the word "dogs" is cleverly added on to the name "nintendo" to form the word "nintendogs". this is actually a reference to the concept of "puppies"

every lyric annotation on Genius reads like this

i think vampires should latch onto their victim's neck like a tick, and just stay there until they bloat & fall off naturally

I- i hate that

furthermore i think the supernatural fandom should use this biological quirk to invent vampire sex knotting the way they did with werewolves and the omegaverse

Since knotting is usually pretty localized to the parts it wants to keep in contact (classic knot -> breeding), I think this implies that knotting vampire penis is now a feeding tool. Maybe it opens like a lamprey

no pressure

*some* pressure

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic