skibidiah shrimp dick

i do think oil executives should be considered mass murderers and treated as such. they knew this was going to happen

Youre a mollusk and something potentially bad or scary gets inside you what do you do. Make a pearl around it. Okay. okay

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

The idea of two people having sex and it creating another, smaller person who has a combination of their traits sounds like it was made up for fan fiction but alas I've heard tale that it's really happened

happy fourth of july to the philippines ONLY

tumblr version of "you sir have won the internet. have an updoot"

man come on

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

I went to Mad At You island because my feelings are my problem. I needed to stomp down the beach until I could sit and watch the sunrise. I built a sandcastle and did some thinking. Then I boarded the good ship You Matter To Me and sailed it all the way to meet you on the Let’s Talk Shore of I Love You Island.

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”