Nine Times No Life

Hanzo is just sasuke for people who wanna fuck dads

How fucking dare you. Hanzo has a richer and deeper backstory than that angsty sack of shit

I was 100% convinced that we were all talking about Hanzo Of The Salamander from the Naruto series, and I am kind of proud of the fact that even after remembering that Overwatch exists my brain still automatically moves to the ninja dude in the steampunk respirator.

I once did a fic where I could and did write a dissertation about the evidence for the underlaying headcanon in a side blog, but I also know with 99% certainty that absolutely none of it was intended by the show's writers.

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

there's also the idea that he drove to walmart in his honda accord, and then when he got out he either forgot where he parked or wanted to skip like 20 seconds of walking so he just summons it right in front of the door

To not have to find a parking space, most wizards keep their Honda Accords in a extradimensional oubliette when not driving. This also saves on garage space.

Clearly the wizard had to summon his Honda Accord because someone stole it while he was shopping. The carjacker is now tumbling violently down the freeway like a source engine ragdoll

What if the Honda Accord is his magical familiar and whenever unsupervised will drive off to engage in Herbie The Love Bug style shenanigans?

It's good to see a popular artist respect traditional filmmaking. Most people these days would just stick their thumb into their mouth and blow until their arms reach the required size. Which is perfectly valid and has been innovated for good reasons (lack of corn-cob pipes), but it's always good to remember the classics.

those are some gargantuan testes for a woman

Aphrodite’s Fat Nuts

Aphrodeez Nuts

Putting a revolutionary against the Greek bourgeoisie next to a kitten killer who probably supports Imperialism smh

I’d stream Ghost Trick or Baba is You if I wasn’t terrified of people thinking I’m dumb.

Your handle is "possessedscholar". Nobody will think that you are dumb. They might think the spirit possessing you has never seen a video game before.

Wish there was a balance with the crazy amounts of secret shit in old Metroidvanias like Super Metroid and Symphony of the Night, and more modern Metroidvanias where shit is actually documented and explained.

In the way that you want to have it documented and explained, but badly so you have to do detective work and guess at how it connects; or that you want it actually documented and explained but as a running list instead of pre-sorted so you have no way to tell something exists until you find it?

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.

Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.

okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?

This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.

could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this

What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?

can he be in a wheelbarrow?

What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?

What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

European swallows or African swallows?

Modern cartoon with the classic angel and devil on the shoulder but the angel's advice is evangelical cult doctrine and GOP political talking points.

Sanji, not the Diable Jambe! You're gonna melt all the ice!

"the amber liquid tasted sweet" bestie i can assure you it did not

I've seen these people down more beer by volume within half an hour than I manage to fit soda into my stomach over the course of the whole evening, so them just having a different physiology doesn't sound as far-fetched to me sometimes as you'd think.

Beer is not hard liquor

Was commenting more on the taste thing, but if I didn't already know how hard liquor works and compares to beer I probably wouldn't question that one much either.

"the amber liquid tasted sweet" bestie i can assure you it did not

I've seen these people down more beer by volume within half an hour than I manage to fit soda into my stomach over the course of the whole evening, so them just having a different physiology doesn't sound as far-fetched to me sometimes as you'd think.

I saw somebody be wrong on the internet and I didn’t respond (don’t want to get involved) and I’m being SO brave about it

I should never have made this post because now every time it gets a new note I’m reminded of how wrong that one person on the internet was.

reblog to remind them how wrong that one person on the internet was

THEY WERE SO WRONG. ON THE INTERNET.

What were they wrong about?

NO I AM BEING SO BRAVE ABOUT IT

Me whenever I see another Pokémon player use x-items.

This is all extremely good information, thank you very much for the addition!