Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement
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@startledoctopus
Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

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accidentally forged the perfect marshmallow ever . on a anvil
i wonder if the reason people think i'm younger than i am is because
1. i mimic the speech of people around me pretty hardcore if i'm not trying not to
2. academic/literary English hasn't drifted that much in my adulthood and that is what makes up my natural speech, having been a kid who had no friends and just read books and only got positive attention from adults for doing well in school.
so either i sound like a semi-timeless college student or like whoever i'm talking to. thus the 19 year olds i have befriended thought i was 10 and not 20 years older than them
"Sewing is a gateway drug to thinking through complex problems. It seems really simple; culturally, we make it women's work. Let me tell you: real sewing at any kind of level of proficiency is a bloody magic trick. Sewing, like mold making, involves mental frames that require one to think inside out and backwards. It requires one to work on an order of operations that is often taking into account the reverse. It's a really, really important skill, and if you learn how to sew, you're mostly on your way to carpentry and welding and sheet metal work. I'm not kidding: these are planar forms meeting under rules and conditions. And if you can make a sleeve work, I swear to God, you could build a house."
--Adam Savage
Also, don't be afraid to "Be bad at sewing" check like ONE video on the basics for a good seam, go into any clothing store, check THEIR seam quality and quickly realize that you can do way better even as a complete noob. Sewing isn't wizardry, it's logic and patience and fun and practicality for all levels.
For people who are scared about "being bad at sewing" here are a couple concrete ways you can be "bad" at it (and what the consequences of that is). I still sometimes make these mistakes and i've been sewing since i was seven. ***Forgetting to add seam allowance. *** For some projects this is not a big deal and it'll just turn out a bit smaller than you intended. For other things, you will be crying and kicking yourself about expensive wasted fabric. Beginner Advice: Just don't start out making things that use expensive fabric. Make some cheap shit first to practice, like a muslin pillowcase. Beginner Reassurance: Even if you fuck this up, and you cry and kick yourself a bit, it might not the end of the world. You can always add an extra panel of fabric to make up the difference -- the real trick is figuring out how to do that in a way that looks like Intentional Design so no one else ever notices you were covering up a mistake. (This is something that even really experienced sewists do all the time -- you might have a piece of fabric in your stash that you bought years ago without a project in mind, and now you've figured out what you want to use it for, you discover that you don't have QUITE enough. So you adapt. Easy.)
***Not sewing in a smooth, intentional line*** For some projects this is not a big deal. For projects where it is a big deal, with most fabrics you can always remove the stitches with a seam ripper and try again as many times as it takes until you're happy. (The fabrics that don't tolerate this are ones with a coating, like pleather or leather, where if you poke a hole then it stays forever. Some really delicate fabrics like satins and fine silks (and sometimes knit fabrics as well) also don't like to be sewn multiple times, but you can usually rub the surface gently or dip it in water and flatten it to dry to get the holes to ALMOST close up. Beginner Reassurance: Woven cotton loves you and forgives you and wants you to succeed. Cotton is friend. Friend cotton. Smooch it. Beginner advice: Trust me, you don't want to sew on that tricky shit anyway. Satin is for masochists who don't take their own advice. Love yourself, stick to woven cottons until you feel confident. Also! Pins will help you sew in a straight line because they'll hold the fabric neatly together. Also, you can use a washable fabric marker to draw the seam lines on with a ruler. If you're VERY VERY VERY new to sewing, I would suggest getting a piece of trash fabric (if you can find a ratty old bedsheet at a thrift store, that's a GREAT thing to practice on), cutting a piece about a foot square, drawing a loooong wobbly meandering line on it with marker or pencil, lots of curves and sharp corners. Then sew along that line with your machine, aiming to get the needle perfectly through the line. This will help you practice manipulating the fabric around curves and corners. Further Advice: Keep your hands flat on top of your fabric on the "table" part of the sewing machine, rather than picking up your fabric with your fingers and moving it around. Just shift it gently with your palms. ***Fabric shifted while sewing and left a gap where the needle didn't go through both layers of fabric*** Hey! What did I tell you about using satin! Put it down and walk away! It is too treacherous for you, traveller! Friend cotton generally doesn't do this to you. Beginner advice: Use pins or fabric clips and this won't happen Beginner reassurance: You can always seam-rip the fucked up bit and try again. <3
***Thread keeps fucking up and getting tangled and snarled on the back of the piece (machine-sewing edition)*** Don't panic, this is not a you problem. You haven't done anything wrong. This happens because every sewing machine has the devil in it. Super normal and happens to everyone. Beginner advice: Remove the thread from your machine and re-thread it, both the top thread and the bobbin. Test it on a bit of scrap fabric to see if that fixed it. If it didn't fix it, try re-threading again and pay close attention to make sure you're doing it right (don't put the bobbin into the bobbin holder backwards, for example). Test again. If that didn't fix it, twiddle the tension knob a bit. If that didn't fix it, open up the part of the machine where the bobbin goes and try blowing the dust and lint out. If THAT still didn't fix it, turn the machine off and go have a cup of tea or a nap. If that STIIIIIIIIILL didn't fix it, replace your needle, it is old and blunt. Beginner Reassurance: I'm holding your hands while I tell you that this is the exact process of troubleshooting you will be using for the rest of your sewing hobby no matter how good you get. Professionals also do this. ***Thread keeps fucking up and getting tangled and snarled (handsewing)*** Also not a you problem. The thread just has too much twist in it. Beginner advice: Just hold up your project and drop your needle so it hangs free on the thread. Run your fingers down the length of it to loosen the twist, the same thing you'd do with the cord of your hair dryer or the vacuum cleaner when it gets twisty. Some people use a little beeswax to coat the thread to help it behave. I've never used that, because just letting it hang and untwist in the air works fine for me. Beginner reassurance: This is normal, just one of those things. You're not bad at sewing.
***Sewed things together with wrong-sides together instead of right-sides together*** Happens to the best of us, especially if you are sewing while tired and bleary. Just undo the seam with a seam ripper and try again. Beginner advice: If you immediately make exactly the same mistake a second time, this is not your fault. This is just a sign from the gods that it's time for a break (all sewists know about this sign, it's a very normal omen). Go to bed, or go eat something. Further advice: If you're making this mistake while well-rested and well fed, maybe your pattern or your fabric is just weird. Try sewing it with a very wide basting stitch, check your work, then sew again with a proper seam. It will at least save you time on ripping it out if it didn't work right again. Beginner reassurance: You're working with friend cotton, right? Then you're fine, you have basically as many chances as you want. :)
***Seam looks bad when I'm looking at the piece inside-out*** Does it look okay from the outside when you turn it right-side-out? Then you have succeeded. Beginner advice: You don't even have to fix this unless you want to. If it's a functional seam, who cares what it looks like inside out? (If you really care, your next step will be to watch some youtube videos about SEAM FINISHING, which is one additional step to make the seams look nice and tidy even inside-out.) ALSO, ironing helps. Iron your seams flat with the right sides of the piece still together just the same way you sewed it, and then fold the two sides apart and iron the seam open, gently pulling the fabric apart as you go so it gets REALLY nice and flat. On curves this is going to take some practice. Just don't do things with curves for your first couple of projects. Make a pillowcase.) Beginner reassurance: It's ok to have an ugly seam, especially as a beginner. No one's going to check the inside unless they're a sewing nerd, whereupon you should bashfully tell them, "This is the first thing I ever made," and they will explode in adoration and praise. Sewing people are like this because we are all a little bit crazy. Every sewist i've ever met remembers VIVIDLY the mistakes they've made while they were learning and the radical self-forgiveness it took to continue learning. A very good sewist is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, because they have made Ten Thousand Mistakes, processed their upset, and kept persevering. They WILL praise your ugliest nastiest most fucked up cotton pillowcase, and they will tell you that you should be really proud of yourself. They will tell you some of the mistakes they've made. They will probably say, "No this is so good, this is way better than the first thing I made when I started!"
***I made a thing but it doesn't fit right.*** Too big? pinch it closed and sew another line. Too small? Rip the seam and add a panel. Beginner advice: Measure twice, cut once. Further advice: Oh, and before you do any cutting or sewing, be sure to pre-wash your fabric on HOT (if you're using cotton; you're using cotton, right? Other fabrics might need something else) so that it can do all the shrinking it's going to do. Beginner reassurance: There's ways to fix every problem, you're not bad at sewing because it doesn't fit right. If you only knew the number of times I made a thing and it didn't fit right.... Ho hum, try again! There are of course other ways to fuck up, but you have to be AMBITIOUS to hit those, and really those are more like... subcategories or more specific flavors of these general ones?
Anyway yeah. Go play with some cotton, fuck around, make a pillowcase. Pay attention to what you're doing and check your work vigilantly at every step. You will be fine. <3
I have been sewing for literally 42 years and not that long ago I pinned and pressed and sewed 12 pleats on the front of a gorgeous wool fabric backwards—not once, not twice, but three times. This is why I don’t sew while on zoom calls anymore.
Mistakes are part of the process! No one can tell I screwed those pleats up so many times—including me!
There is always more to learn with sewing and it is such a fun adventure.
Also, this is not particularly beginner advice but I still think everyone should know it:
PIN VELVET AT ALTERNATING ANGLES USING SILK PINS.
Because velvet has a texture, it tends to be extremely creepy crawly when you are sewing it right sides together. But if you put your pins in like this
/
—
\
—
/
—
\
it really helps control the creep and keep your pieces aligned. Sewing straight seams in velvet is one of the only times I use pins and I use a LOT of them set fairly close together. And if you use pins intended for use with silk, they are a lot less likely to mar the fabric.
my partner switched careers from being a cook for 14 years to welding, and they took to it very intuitively. the instructor asked what their job history was and was unsurprised to hear that it was cooking. he said another star pupil of his was a sewist, which required the same type of piecing, seam allowance (negative, in welding, because the gap gets filled with weld, but same skill) and steady hands.
does anyone have that gif of a penis growth ad thats a guinea pig that stretches out rly long and a girl says “hot!” and the guinea pig spins around pls i need it
I gotchu
YES!!! YES!! YES!!!!!
You literally cannot find this type of community interaction on twitter or instagram or any other app. Look at the support, the gratitude, the absolutely incomprehensible shared knowledge of this most cursed, most rare gif.
Truly this is beauty.

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look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons
whatever. go my scallops
last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops
Another public service announcement. This time it’s air quality. Some of you are probably in it already if you’re in eastern Canada, New England or New York, but it’s sliding south, a huge mass of wildfire smoke. Please be careful. When it starts getting bad, especially, like when the sky gets orange or brownish, it’s best to run air purifiers in the house and wear N95 or KN95 masks when you have to go outside.
It harms your lungs and it’s especially bad for children (and pets!) or anyone with health problems. There are all kinds of chemicals in that smoke. It’s not only trees that are burning. The heat already makes it harder to breath. This makes it worse.
If any of you are experiencing it, feel free to tell about it in the comments. 💚
Also, throw out the mask every day and shower before you get in bed if you’ve been out or you’ll be breathing the particles all night. Stuff like that. It gets all over you, your skin, your hair, your clothes.
It's a large (and shifting) smoke plume, so stay safe, folks. Look up how to make a "Corsi-Rosenthal Box" if you need an air purifier inside.
This what I mean when I say science writing is terrible and you need to actually go back to the academic publications themselves to get what’s going on
Frequent enough issue that there's a greeting card about it...
I love this picture so much! Post it whenever I come across it.
Inner Mongolian Child
The little girl’s name is Butedmaa and she was just 5 when this picture was taken in 2003 by Han Chengli.
(I used to have a printout of this at my desk at work because I just loved looking at it so much.)
late summer / early fall thoughts

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this is my first time in the pacific northwest. we drove through a forest so wet and foggy you couldn’t see the bends in the road ten yards ahead of you and it straight up felt like a horror game until we emerged into a sunny valley with a rainbow over it and then we went to a taco bell and in it there was a guy dressed like a hot dog and a guy dressed like hamburger. is it all like this
A fabulous take on H. Toprak's 'Muschelform' pattern by Cristina Vasconcellos aka ColoridoEclético. Pattern on Ravelry.
young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album
and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details
(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it
a trap song with the rapper growing increasingly concerned about all the gun sound effects in the music
practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance
“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!

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M*A*S*H, “A Smattering of Intelligence” (1974)
hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking