Local Skeleton

Excellent choice. The details of this are a little sketchy since I wasn't there for most of it, but it's still one hell of a story.

So my parents live at a lakehouse. And they have some rich friends. At some point, said rich friends were raising ducks or something and decided that they were going to release it into the wild, choosing to do so at our dock. The duck met another duck and fell in love. Then that other duck was killed by a coyote or something of the sort.

Now this duck was quite upset by this. You could hear that duck quacking alllllll over the place in its grief. But that wasn't going to stop Dockfest baby!!!!!

Dockfest is an annual event my family hosted at their dock where all the other boaters on the lake could come up to the dock, float on the water a bit and listen as my dad's cover band at the time rocked out. A fun time for all.

But this year, there was a Duck on the loose. And this duck was pissed. This duck terrorized half of the people floating in the water. Really just being a huge menace.

So eventually my family decides something has to be done about this duck. It's ruining the vibes and terrorizing guests. So everyone is brainstorming on how do we deal with an angry duck. They tried setting up bait, but it wouldn't bite. They tried sneaking up on it but it was just too wily.

Until my brother comes up with an idea. Now my brother is a very interesting character. I know I've told stories about him in the past, but I will describe him as a frat boy who became a surfer, and that will give you a good enough idea of him. Anyway, his plan is to go to the top level of our dock with a big bag, wait for the duck to get close, and then LEAP off the dock to trap the duck so that we could relocate it.

Second It's Tv Time! mashup (but it's a shorter one this time)

Sources under cut:

You got a

Bed

The FDA has upgraded an egg recall issued last month to “Class I,” its highest risk level, as it warns the public that consuming the products could cause “serious adverse health consequences or death.”

The recall of 1,589,577 dozen white-shell eggs and brown cage-free shell eggs was initially issued by Midwest Poultry Services in late July, which warned they might be contaminated with Salmonella Enteritidis.

According to the company, the eggs were produced and distributed from farms in Texas between June 6 and July 3 and have sell-by or best-by dates between July 20 and August 17. The recalled egg cartons have either the code P-1950 or 0840962 and Julian Dates between 157-184.