ilya “you got games on your phone” rozanov

shane has never downloaded games on his phone before ilya. now they are at the airport lounge and he has angry birds downloaded because ilya refuses to play angry birds on his own phone. "your phone is better," ilya insists, even though they have the same iphone 17 plus. he likes that shane's full undivided attention is on him because he doesn't have his phone as a distraction. he likes that shane is watching him play. to ilya, this is a couple activity.

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

Getting traded and finding out on tumblr

getting optioned to AAA on an improvement plan

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

no no no put me back in the loop I almost did it perfect please put me back just a few more tries and I think I could really nail it please put me back

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

it’s 2014 can taylor swift stop

i think when shane was 4 he had a crush on balto

do you think shane hollander knows he's castiel's perfect vessel