Don’t forget the main plot was a damning satire of the brokenness and inherent racism of the American justice and prison systems! Louis Sachar does not fuck about

It always fuck me up that older people don’t understand how this story is as essential to most american children as Gone with the Wind or Mary Poppins was.

unironically, this is one of the best books/movies for young people that exists

Kissing Kate Did Nothing Wrong

And the technical writing of Holes is perfect. Like, it’s one of the most technically-perfect books ever written. Basically any plotting or pacing or characterization issue you’re having, read Holes and really study how Sachar did it. THE LIZARDS! THE LIZARDS.

the twisty prophecies! the lizards! the lipstick! the humor! this book doesn’t play. a true classic.

and! in a twist, it’s actually the most accurate depiction of archaeology across pretty much all media!

it has always been a dream of mine to relax

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

[trying to flirt with ms frizzle] hey val. can i call you val? i've always liked how most of the working professionals you know appear to be homosexuals. how about you take a chance on me, and we can make some mistakes and messes at my place? [sniles] [she turns me down with a pun] [i walk dejected out into the parking lot] [The Bus runs me over]

trying to undress ms frizzle but when you pull off her dress there's a second, "lingerie-patterned" dress underneath

let's reintroduce "rude" to the lexicon no that person is not evil or morally bankrupt or even your enemy they're just being rude

You used to log onto the internet and find out it was peanut butter jelly time. Not any more.

those mountains are older than Saturn's rings and they want to blow them up and hollow them out for cell phone batteries

“Art is happening everywhere all of the time” but an awful lot of it seems to only ever happen in New York and London, doesn’t it?