how do u view the scene in mj when katniss and gale are in her house and hes like 'you only kiss me when im in pain" because the common belief in the fandom is that he's being manipulative/ guilt trippy here but i just dont see it that way so idk. I feel like the fandom is so blinded by their dislike for gale they seem insistent on villianizing his every move, but I always just thought of this scene as gale being vulnerable and that line about waiting for her to choose as gale being in pain and wanting to be free/cut loose from his own feelings (also he literally almost died on that table so his emotion is understandable to me) He loves her and atp knows its not him, yet katniss still wont do it (which obviously dont blame her since a lots going on and gale is her best friend so she doesnt want to lose him) idk if i even completely agree with his conclusion about her kisses but thats just me. Maybe I am being a little too lenient to him here tho, so I would love your thoughts on this whole scene :)
Ahoy, Anon! Great question. I agree with you that it is more him being vulnerable with his feelings than intentionally manipulative. I'm not against leniency for the traumatized 19-year-old. He is communicating that he feels "like the man in the Hanging Tree. Still waiting for an answer." Her life has been a wreck the past year, and because they were so close, so has his. Not even counting the bombing. Before the 74th, he had become aware of his crush on her, was probably waiting for the right time to confess his feelings. And suddenly, she had to publically be with Peeta, and even in private, her feelings are as unclear to him as they are to herself, full of mixed signals. I don't blame him for wanting some clarity.
Context matters a lot in this scene. It is in Katniss's mansion kitchen, and he opens the conversation with, "This is where you kissed me," referring to the table where he had been lying for treatment after the whipping, zonked out on morphling. I'm not calling Gale the smoothest or most tactful person, just an honest one. Katniss did kiss him there, when he was in pain, when she thought he was unconscious and wouldn't remember. In that scene, he's about to start crying, and she explicitly does kiss him "to keep [the tears] from spilling over." He saw her kiss Peeta in the arena when he was in pain, too. The pattern he points out does exist, from his perspective. At most, the "Don't worry, Katniss. It'll pass," was a little passive aggressive.
In that kiss, he pulled away first. And that kiss can't stand alone, because I think the entire thing, especially Gale's abrasiveness, needs to be looked at in combination with their kisses in District 2. There, she's grieving Peeta and choosing Gale, kissing Gale "to make up for all the kisses I've withheld, because it doesn't matter anymore..." That part, to me, sounds like Katniss finding some freedom in kissing Gale, kissing someone and not having to worry about any strategy or performance. But then, "...and because I'm so desperately lonely I can't stand it," creates some doubt. Is kissing Gale her authentic expression of romantic freedom, or is she kissing him because he's available? It can be both ("and")! It can be complicated! But Katniss doesn't sound sure in her narration, and Gale can tell she's unsure. That's when he pulls back, stops her, and asks what's going on in her head. Because she doesn't know, he no longer wants to kiss her, doesn't want to kiss someone whose motivations are uncertain. Nothing wrong with that. I love him for that.
So, considering the full picture, the kitchen kiss was when Gale's emotions were heightened by painful memories, and he was a little passive-aggressive, but for the District 2 kisses, when he's more calm, he communicates more gently and clearly: he wants an answer, for her to be sure, and to not manipulate her. If it were his intention to manipulate her, he could have taken full advantage of her habit of kissing people in pain and her emotional confusion, but he very explicitly doesn't. How some people put him down for being slightly imperfect while doing everything to not take advantage of her is beyond me.


















