Ill Woman In A Party Hat

My health has been quite bad lately. I’m exhausted all the time, can barely eat, and have no motivation for anything. It’s times like this that make it very comforting to go back to an old favourite TV series like Miraculous Ladybug. It reminds me of a time when I could trust my body and it felt more like a sock I had worn for a long time (easily forgotten) than a spider crawling up your skin and biting without warning.

Make sure to check out Anxious Lass’s blog and give her some props for her amazing articles.

People who are chronically ill often hear things like, “stay positive” or “why don’t you try writing in a gratitude journal”, “why don’t you think of all the things you are thankful for in your life”, “things could always be worse”. Sometimes positivity can help but it can also feel invalidating as if people do not want to listen to you if you are not going to be positive. Positive people who are going through a chronic illness (or many in my case) are admired for ‘keeping their spirits up’ but natural, human emotions are seen as weak or discouraging.

Sometimes people just want to be sad. They want to talk about their pain so they do not feel so alone. They want to talk about their pain so some of it is released from their bodies instead of left to fester and rot. They want someone to listen and they want to be allowed to be sad.

So if you are sad or hurting then feel those feelings. Let them out because they are valid and releasing them does not mean you are weak or any less noble than someone who is able to bottle them up and pretend to be fine.

And what you are going through is no less difficult or worth being upset about than what someone else is. Even if one person is going through cancer and another has depression and endo everyone feels things and experiences things in different ways.

Whatever you are going through, if you have to scream then scream. If you have to cry then cry, because these are human emotions. What you are going through is difficult and yes you have to continue living with it but you do not always have to stay positive to protect those around you who could not possibly understand.

It may be fine someday but if it isn’t right now then take a deep breath and cry.

It’s okay.

Picture found on Pinterest. Please support the manga artist.

I have worked at my current job for about eight years now and I am beginning to notice some frustrating truths. Even though my work is good at accommodating the side effects of my illnesses it is getting harder and harder to stay focused. It is as if a little gremlin is inside my body having a ball and not caring what he does. At first he will beat a drum beat on my stomach, then he will scratch doodles with his nails all over the inside of my head, and apparently this gremlin is always cold because eventually he will turn up the heat in every room in my body. It is not very easy to keep shelving books or even stand for long periods of time with such a symphony of chaos going on inside. Because of this I have decided to try moving to more at home work and hopefully permanently transition to it.

To do this I will be focusing more on this blog and doing research on other blogs of the same kind so I can start giving you lovely readers what you truly want and need out of my chronic illness tips and funnies. I am hoping to eventually sell memberships and sponsor products that will pertain to chronic illness as well as start another blog in relation to all things LGBTQ like book reviews, venues, art, and the rest. Please let your LGBTQ friends know. Once it is up and running I will put the name in one of my posts so you can search it. I am also working on an LGBTQ novel myself as well as a children’s book and I will keep you updated on both of those as the months come along.

Having a chronic illness can be terrifying and frustrating. Today I had to call into work because I was not feeling well and I was afraid I was going to have an attack. If it happened while I was driving to work I could faint and get into an accident. If it happened at work my legs could give out like two rotten asparagus spears and it would be embarrassing, but I could also get hurt wherever I fell or hurt someone else. I may weigh only 115 lbs but 115 lb woman falling on a frail little 80 lb grandmother can cause some damage (sorry grandma).

When I get attacks it is sudden. It starts with stomach pain like a tiny squirrel with very sharp claws, and no moral compass, is trying to claw it’s way out of my stomach. Then I get extremely hot, as if the top of my head will pop off like the lid from a tea kettle in a cartoon, and will either fall, if I do not get to a bathroom soon enough, or throw-up and faint from the pain. There is no warning.

Hello everyone. I recently acquired a job as an Apprentice to an Art Therapist for people with chronic illness and disability. The job entails a lot but it is so rewarding to help people connect and learn more about themselves and how strong they are. Disability and chronic illness can be scary and isolating. It is hard to find community support so I am so excited to be part of this organization. 

If you know of anyone with a chronic illness or disability please don’t hesitate to let them know about Positive-Shift Creative Telehealth Services. We will be hosting online Art Therapy courses soon. You can learn more from our website. Please do not hesitate to ask me if you have any questions or just want someone to talk to. Having five chronic illnesses and one disability myself I know how helpless and alone you can feel, especially at diagnosis. Know that you are not alone and there are always people willing to reach out a hand or sit with you in the dark.