People who are chronically ill often hear things like, “stay positive” or “why don’t you try writing in a gratitude journal”, “why don’t you think of all the things you are thankful for in your life”, “things could always be worse”. Sometimes positivity can help but it can also feel invalidating as if people do not want to listen to you if you are not going to be positive. Positive people who are going through a chronic illness (or many in my case) are admired for ‘keeping their spirits up’ but natural, human emotions are seen as weak or discouraging.
Sometimes people just want to be sad. They want to talk about their pain so they do not feel so alone. They want to talk about their pain so some of it is released from their bodies instead of left to fester and rot. They want someone to listen and they want to be allowed to be sad.
So if you are sad or hurting then feel those feelings. Let them out because they are valid and releasing them does not mean you are weak or any less noble than someone who is able to bottle them up and pretend to be fine.
And what you are going through is no less difficult or worth being upset about than what someone else is. Even if one person is going through cancer and another has depression and endo everyone feels things and experiences things in different ways.
Whatever you are going through, if you have to scream then scream. If you have to cry then cry, because these are human emotions. What you are going through is difficult and yes you have to continue living with it but you do not always have to stay positive to protect those around you who could not possibly understand.
It may be fine someday but if it isn’t right now then take a deep breath and cry.
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