#rating

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝑉𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑚𝑎𝑛/𝑉𝑜𝑥 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚!𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 𝑉𝑜𝑥 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑉𝑒𝑒𝑠. 𝑈𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎 𝑝𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 — 𝑎 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑢𝑛𝑢𝑠𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜’𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑚 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 — 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑝 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐻𝑎𝑧𝑏𝑖𝑛 𝐻𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑙.

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝐷𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑅𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑃𝑜𝑠𝑡-𝑆𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛/02, 𝑆𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝐵𝑢𝑟𝑛, 𝐸𝑛𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑎 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑆𝑚𝑢𝑡, 𝐻𝑢𝑟𝑡/𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡, 𝑃𝑂𝑉 𝑆𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛, 𝑆𝑤𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑃𝑂𝑉, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐻𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝐸𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐷𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑅𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝, 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟, 𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟, 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑃𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑃𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝐵𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑜𝑚/𝐵𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑜𝑚/𝑆𝑤𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑉𝑜𝑥, 𝑃𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑉𝑜𝑥 (𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔), 𝐻𝑢𝑟𝑡 𝑉𝑜𝑥, 𝑇𝑜𝑢𝑐ℎ-𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑉𝑜𝑥, 𝑉𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑀𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝑉𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛, 𝑉𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛, 𝑉𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎 𝐽𝑒𝑟𝑘 (𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒), 𝑆𝑒𝑙𝑓𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑉𝑜𝑥, 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝐻𝑎𝑧𝑏𝑖𝑛 𝐻𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑉𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑉𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒, 𝑇𝑟𝑎𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑃𝑎𝑠𝑡, 𝑆𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑇𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑐, 𝑉𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑦𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠…

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠

(list of VNs at bottom)

- kara no shoujo series incl. prequel cartagra;

- g-senjou no maou;

- steins gate;

- chaos series;

- danganronpa 2;

- wonderful everyday-diskontinuierliches dasein;

- slow damage;

- sakuranomori dreamers series;

- saya no uta;

- house in fata morgana series;

- hashihime of old book town;

- ai the somnium files;

- dramatical murder;

- taisho x alice series;

- hakuouki;

- chou no doku series

My little sibling is really into indie shows on YouTube and wants to watch it but she’s on the younger side (9/10) and I don’t know if it’d be appropriate for her

Malink; Malon x Link: Adorable and somewhat canon depending on who you think TP Link's parents are and what timeline shenanigans you subscribe to. Link's first non-Kokiri friend turning into his soulmate is cute and finding peace after the craziness of OoT is beautiful. Also, Malon is cute as a button. 11/10, love you, funky Horsegirl.

Ilia x Link: Pretty good but feels too much like a reskin of Malink to be really fun. People give Ilia grief for freaking out about Epona but it really isn't fucking deserved. Girl get's done dirty by the narrative and the fandom and she deserves better. Also, memory loss and falling in love all over again is absolute peak. 9/10, you deserve better, baby.

Marin x Link: A child's first taste of tragic ending and hot girls being doomed by the narrative. Very child friendly "Calypso and Odysseus" feel to this one. Still, Marin is absolutely adorable and the idea of falling in love with a literal dream is heartbreaking. 10/10, would cry like a little kid again.

Link x Ruto: Okay, hear me out, this one isn't terrible. Ruto's chld-like crush on the guy who saved her life is pretty cute and being a haughty teenager about it is pretty funny. Also, she understands they can't be together, and sends him off with her love and good wishes, which is surprisingly mature of her. I'm just saying, Ruto isn't the weirdo people make her out to be. 7/10, it still feels like entrapment

Midlink; Midna x Link: TOP TIER! BEST OF THE BEST! ABSOLUTE PEAK ROMANCE! Romeo and Juliet style star-crossed lovers from literal opposing sides of reality. Allies of convenience to friends to soulmates?! PEAK! Adorable evil goblin design for most of the game and then complete knockout reveal at the end?! ROMANCE DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE?! PEAK, I TELL YOU! PEAK! (Also I headcannon that because Midna looks like a Hylian she's considered ugly by Twili standards so Link finding her beautiful warms her heart). 20/10, best ship, best girl, best love story.

Ganlink; Ganondorf x Link: Objectively the funniest Legend of Zelda ship in existence and I will take no arguments on that. Destined enemies giving the middle finger to fate and falling in love instead? Amazing. Ganondorf hates every minute of it but he's also the happiest he's ever been with this stupid twink and he hates that too. 10/10, something something the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Link x Zant: Objectively hilarious as Link is seducing his enemies into submission yet again, like any self-respecting bard, but this one feels a little too Batman x Joker like for my liking. I really ship Zant x Therapy but Midna watching her rival give up his conquering ambitions for a twink is objectively hilarious. 8/10, not great but not bad.

Now. While I could rant about how some of their stories kinda suck and that it's very clear that Hussie still favors certain trolls over others by putting more effort and details into their design/story than others, I'm not gonna do that...yet. Instead, I'm just gonna rank their designs as someone who genuinely has zero knowledge in how to design things. 12. Equius - E%emplar Danklook

This is genuinely the worst of the worst designs. "Augh he's so hot he so fine" WHERE ARE HIS MUSCLES???? WHY ARE HIS HORNS NOT BIGGER LIKE THE REST OF THEM???? I DON'T WANT TWINKQUIUS!!! I WANT MY MAJESTIC STALLION! I WANT A BUFF HORSE DUDE AND I KNOW HUSSIE CAN DRAW THAT BECAUSE HE DREW DARKLEER AND LOOK AT HIM

OVERALL NEGATIVE INFINITY/10!!!! 11. Tavros - The Treeaboo

Ignoring that they literally gave NO insight on their actual personality, this design really just doesn't scratch that itch for me. It's supposed to be somewhat Robin Hood but it's really giving Reddit Hipster, which is a shame because I REALLY love Tavros. Also the fedora is just awful. No one who isn't ripped straight from the 50's looks good in a fedora. 10. Karkat - The Imposter

This is where we move into me not really disliking the designs and moreso them just being meh in comparison to others. I wear sweater vests a lot. I am not judging my fella for wearing such attire, nor the goggles which make sense because he works in a mine. If I'm being honest, it's really just the hair. It looks greasy and gives me an awful feeling just looking at it. Give him a shower, give him shampoo and conditioner, and please give him a proper trial. 9. Aradia - The Rankmaid

I enjoy the design. I just fear that the giving the "How to draw manga" book to any Megido is a foul stereotype. The Leijons are right there and their modus literally involves drawing. The only reason Aradia has it is because she's Asian coded, which again I must say, is so so so foul. 8. Sollux - The Helpsman

I make jokes about how I don't like Sollux, but in reality, he's one of my favorite trolls. I actually REALLY like this design and the story of him being a volunteer as opposed to The Helmsman is really cute. I just wish they gave him a unique pose. Everyone else got one but he literally just got the Helmsman's one panel. It's a bit disappointing.

7. Vriska - Lamplady Swansong

There's really nothing for me to note about this design. I'm just very neutral on it. It's alright. The blindfold is cool but that's about it from me. This might be controversial because I know a lot of people immediately thirsted over this design but I just don't see it :/ Also mean girl to nurse pipeline remains true to this day. 6. Terezi - Songbird Sootnose

So when we're talking about stories that make no sense, this is the one I will be expanding upon the most. It makes sense for Sollux and Karkat to be working in mines because they're lowbloods and having the lower castes be the equivalent of a blue collar worker is a neat thing. But Terezi is a Teal blood. Nepeta isn't in those mines and neither is Kanaya. Why is she here??? Hell, Neophyte Redglare is a lawyer in Alternia, doesn't it make more sense for Terezi to be a similar role? Design wise however? I'm not gonna lie. It's attractive. If there is anything I'm a sucker for it's people in tank tops/comfy clothes like sweaters or alternatively, people in fancy and elaborate outfits. Very nice. 5. Gamzee - The Bland Highblood

This will probably surprise some of you considering my pfp is of Kurloz and I have always expressed a love for clowning/miming. Let me make this abundantly clear. My pfp is only Kurloz because my partner's is Meulin. I HATE Kurloz. This design is really cool though and I DO love Gamzee, so I put it here. I just like the remaining 4 more. 4. Kanaya - The Gardener

Oh my goodness, I adore this one. Very sleek and cozy looking and wide brim hats with a veil are so lovely to me. Also the buttons of her gloves being lavender and her wearing roses on her hat are so AUGH! Rosemary is one of my fav ships and any nod to it is adorable. 3. Feferi - Shepherd Constern

Now the amount of flack I have seen this design get genuinely upsets me. "Oh, the shoulders are too big and the colors are weird and 8lah 8lah 6lah 6lah" GOD FORBID A WOMAN WANT TO WEAR A FANCY DRESS!!! GOD FORBID A WOMAN WANT TO ENGAGE IN A TRADITIONALLY FEMININE THING!!! SHE IS GORGEOUS!!! DON'T FUCK WITH ME!!! SHE IS ELEGANT AND REFINED LIKE A DELIGHTFUL FLOWER YOU WALKING AMEOBA!!! I ADORE WHEN A WOMAN HOLDS WHIMSY IN HER HEART THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! 2. Eridan - Zoologer Coolscar

Redeemed Eridan for me just a bit. Only this version though. They're described as the best character so obviously I like that. My only gripe is that despite being named "Coolscar", they do not have any genuine scars on them. Also enby Eridan is based. Only beaten by... 1. Nepeta - The Muckrake