zoë!

reblog if you remember what it felt like to walk into blockbuster

han and leia would be that on-and-off casual couple in high school that never speak to each other at school except a few snide remarks, but then you’d go to a party and they would be sharing a blunt and standing off to the side by themselves, both with the most heinous case of rbf

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

they should allow you to report posts for being gauche or passé

my dead wife. the ad free internet

Went to a fabric store yesterday and saw a sewing machine that did embroidery of photos and the example was of a newborn baby and it was so fucking insane looking I asked an employee if I could buy it and she looked at it and was like “oh my god eugh what the fuck… i think that’s my bosses grandkid….I think you should just take it” so I did

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

okay but why is he even called mr beast

He's the Antichrist

Thinking about a new bit where i start using “workers of the world” as my go-to second person plural pronoun. Like “chat”.

Workers of the world what do we think of this. Is it funny.

Workers of the world please like and reblog my post

where the fuck did you get that