The Ramblings of a Future Author

The school system I grew up in put an absolutely ungodly amount of pressure on kids to Show Up Every Day No Matter What. Many schools are like this, but looking back, my town’s was borderline fucking dystopian. They asked me why I didn’t just “postpone” a surgery at one point— when I was fifteen— to give you an idea of how monumentally obtuse these people were.

So, in elementary school, I started having chicken pox symptoms, right? They were mild because I was vaccinated (yay!) but my mom recognized them quickly and took me to the doctor, because my mom is a reasonable human being with standards. The doctor said “yup, you’ve got those pox, it may seem mild but please for the love of god DO NOT take her to school, she is very contagious even though she may FEEL okay.”

So I had to stay home from school until I got clearance from my doctor to go back. I was an angry little gremlin the whole time, because I wanted to go to the school library and read books about the human skull, but my mother said, “no, you cannot leave this house, and do not scratch the bumps please.” So I sat at home and tried not to scratch the bumps, like a good little gremlin.

A few days into my Chicken Pox Related House Arrest, we got a letter from the school. I was far from the only person with chicken pox, as it so happened. Like… a tenth of my second grade class had Confirmed Pox. We all fell ill within DAYS of each other.

So how did this happen, you ask? Well, a kid had chicken pox, and he came to school anyway. “Ah, well perhaps they didn’t know,” you may very well say. “Maybe his parents didn’t notice!” No. No, they noticed. In fact they KNEW it was CHICKEN POX. They sent him to school anyway.

The kid’s parents…….. were, in fact, teachers at the school. And they KNOWINGLY made him go to school sick, because they didn’t want to risk hurting his precious “perfect attendance” record. They figured that since he wasn’t, like, Literally Dying, it was better for him not to miss school. Never mind the fact that they were actively endangering hundreds of little kids.

Fast forward to my freshman year of college. A kid came to class with mumps because he ‘couldn’t afford to miss’. Guess what happened? Mumps outbreak! Diseases are, as it turns out, good at being diseases! Vaccinations are phenomenal, but they can only do so much, and some people rely on herd immunity to not be killed by preventable illness.

This entire attitude needs to die. It’s dangerous. Food service workers are forced to show up sick, little kids are forced to show up sick, college students show up sick because they’re afraid of flunking out.

paramedic: hi, I'm Allan

me: you told me. and your colleague is Jim, and the man who found me is Peter. guess my short-term memory is okay

me: well my feet are still freezing but it's okay, I know you need to focus on getting my core temperature up first

The noble suitors, who have never sewn a thing in their lives, sabotage themselves by their own ambitions: they choose difficult fabrics to work with and cut huge, elaborate patterns and select gems and pearls and beads to sew onto it, and snip such long bits of thread that they lose time detangling their stitches, and ultimately resort to pinning bits together as they run out of time, so that their offerings initially look beautiful and flashy, but when the princess tries them on they stick her with pin ends and fall apart as she moves.

The humble protagonist uses a very simple pattern without embellishments and sews using short lengths of thread (snipped off and threaded for him by little birds of course) which don't tangle and therefore save time. His dress is plain by contrast, but holds together and the princess is able to move freely in it, and so he wins the contest and her hand.

I particularly think about the bit about threading the needle with shorter lengths of thread, needing to tie off more often but avoiding tangles and thereby saving time.

Freyja: :)

(Not seen; fifteen separate little 'you should keep the cat' signs the universe threw at me in about 2.3 hours)

Me, at the creamsicle lady; ma'am

Me, at Freyja; MA'AM

.......

The vet; let me guess. She's sweet.

Me; she's SO sweet

Think they'd all have a similar reaction to when they found out who Luffys grandad is shock followed by confusion then resignation

Highkey, I judge someone anytime they’re wearing a M*nette design... Like oh okay are we just going to forget about the time she literally committed TREASON??

“death of the artist” yeah I fucking WISH she would 😑

👽 sonnywuzhere following

fired again.. it's fine, that internship was really cutting into my alienposting time.

I <3 unemployment actually.

👻 jessalynterrorthornton mutuals

OK OK OK long post but I just realized I never told the story of THE THANKSGIVING INCIDENT

so to understand the Thanksgiving Incident you have to understand the story of my dead cousin Charlotte. She’s pretty well known around here but for those not from around here, she died on her 21st bday from a fire my mom started but she didn’t confess to that until a couple DECADES later…

anyway full story under the cut. major TW for death, gaslighting, and mentions of involuntary hospitalization but the story is funny I promise.

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👽 sonnywuzhere following

I HATE WORKING!!!!! but I have an addiction to feed… will suck dick for koko kringle money I guess

👽 sonnywuzhere following

ok nevermind all that just got a new gig at some plant research facility. didn’t even get to have to suck dick

🛠️ ryanscience mutuals

bored at work so...

🍻 authenticanja follow

20-30 years just for dressing in a monster costume and putting my nephew in a time out smh... the justice system here is out of control.

🎲 kurseofkarl follow

you tried to kill a guest. and you locked your nephew in a condemned dungeon...

🍻 authenticanja follow

god forbid a woman do anything...

🍪 jjling mutuals

Call me paranoid but I refuse to play Hangman. Someone once manipulated me into signing something using that stupid children's game.

Seriously they had me write something nice for a "fan" by guessing the letters in the right sequence and then they gave the scrap of paper to this STALKER who--no joke-- had them leave it inside a SKULL in the CATACOMBS.. If I had a nickel for every time someone tricked me into signing something, I'd have two nickels. Not a lot but weird that it happened twice and all that.

honestly I hate being famous smh.

👔 heather-designs follow

today on “things that didn’t happen” 🙄

🌱 drmalachaicraven-deactivated01122026

Truthfully, I am beginning to think Tumblr was the wrong website on which to share my horticultural genius. A rare few are deserving of my insights, but most are mindless self-proclaimed “shitposters” incapable of forming a single coherent thought, much less keeping abreast of cutting edge research literature. If the culture on this platform doesn’t shift, I will be forced to explore other options.

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👽 sonnywuzhere following

fired again

anonymous asked:

you're in prison? that actually makes so much sense lol. like sorry but you literally don't seem fit to be in society

👠 rudecarol answered:

more anon hate for the dodo box

💀 lamontatzekes following

when you say “God gives his worst tummy troubles to his hottest girlies,” can you include me please?

Gaston: "Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in there tonight, raving-"

Fast placed music plays as the scene changes.