Are they called detectives?

anyway. computer show me big hairy sweaty men in docile positions

I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

Dicks are so pretty I wish men were good people

the first woman who saw cave paintings must've felt craaazyyyyyy. she couldn't even reblog them..

the crazy thing about doctor who is that it really is the best show ever for 30 seconds at a time. you never know when those 30 seconds will be. sometimes they happen multiple times in a single episode and sometimes you wait years and years and years. and the best part is those 30 seconds are surrounded by the worst show ever, which is also doctor who

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

Someone needs to hire a better Etsy witch

It’s always “there is still time” and never “the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating” or “I know it’s scary, that’s part of it”

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

they're saying that Thursday will be falling on a Thursday this week. the rare double Thursday phenomenon

i’m all about peace and love but i do firmly believe that it is vital for all humans to have one enemy like just one person they can only feel spite towards. builds healthy strong bones

i have multiple and i’ll be honest? it’s made my immune function better fooooor sure, that’s how much it’s vital to just have some beef once in a while