Are they called detectives?

the crazy thing about doctor who is that it really is the best show ever for 30 seconds at a time. you never know when those 30 seconds will be. sometimes they happen multiple times in a single episode and sometimes you wait years and years and years. and the best part is those 30 seconds are surrounded by the worst show ever, which is also doctor who

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

Someone needs to hire a better Etsy witch

It’s always “there is still time” and never “the longer you wait, the closer you get to suffocating” or “I know it’s scary, that’s part of it”

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

they're saying that Thursday will be falling on a Thursday this week. the rare double Thursday phenomenon

i’m all about peace and love but i do firmly believe that it is vital for all humans to have one enemy like just one person they can only feel spite towards. builds healthy strong bones

i have multiple and i’ll be honest? it’s made my immune function better fooooor sure, that’s how much it’s vital to just have some beef once in a while

i don’t want relationship advice from a woman who got married before seeing an uncut dick

she hasn’t studied abroad

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

Love using “historically” to refer to random inconsequential things in my life. Yeah so historically I don’t eat shellfish but

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws