Argon Beryllium

“Why’d you do that?” Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them

i'd kill a thousand billion pjackks for one more second of irish american chan

"pjackk" was an experiment to synthesize the world's first "ethical lolcow" conducted by a team of researchers at the massachusetts institute of technology

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

It deeply saddens me that "pdf file" has become slang for pedo. Don't you dare disrespect my wife the beautiful portable document format ever again

and to the children in the notes saying we need this fucking baby talk to get around censorship online; there's been no credible evidence that any site other that YouTube (which will only demonetize your video, ftr) will actually censor or hide content that include words like rape, pedophile, gun, terrorist, etc. etc. and even if we take as a given they were (which, again, they are not), do not fucking comply in advance, you absolute fucking coward. and ESPECIALLY do not comply by altering your real life fucking vocabulary. don't let the technocrats dictate what words you say holy fucking shit dude!!!!!!!!!!!!

"i look forward to hearing back" implies a beautiful world that runs on sense-direction combinations. i smell sideways to tasting up. i palpate inwards to listening diagonal, so that i can hunger clockwise

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

my roommate and i were trying to identify two birds outside of our window and she's pulling up pictures on her phone and she says "ok so that one's a house sparrow" and shows me a picture i nod my head and then she points to the reddish one next to it outside and says "and that one's a house finch" and she shows me again and i nod and then she switches to a new tab and it's a picture of hugh laurie and she says "and this is house m.d." i'm gonna kill her