give me the heart on your neck

Phoebe Bridgers | Motion Sickness

Giant Skeletons by Jocelin Carmes

Saturday, wait And Sunday always comes too late But Friday, never hesitate

Dan thinks that he’s a Shiba Inu but he frankly does not have the disposition or constant fucking gremlin energy. Simply put, he is, at his core, the Goodest Boy. Even when he’s snappy or bitchy or being the biggest chaos gremlin, he is still the sweetest thing on planet earth. Yes, I am biased.

For your consideration:

And, for further proof: dinof and adolescent German sheppers:

German Shepards are FIERCELY loyal and protective, they are not “friendly” dogs towards strangers or people they see as a threat. They’re reserved and slightly standoffish towards new people, often remaining very quiet and still while observing. They’re insanely smart and learn very quickly (but only things that they want to learn or are heavily incentivized to learn). They’re brave and loyal when it comes to ONE (or a selective few) person and they’re basically velcroed to their favorite person.

They’re naturally fairly anxious (which aids them in doing their jobs properly) but that often causes separation anxiety and fear-based reactivity. They snap quickly and briefly, especially when young, under-socialized, and untrained. They’re incredibly observant and constantly have an eye out, watching what’s going on around them. It’s very easy to create reactivity in them when they’re not raised kindly, they adapt to their situations very well (sometimes in ways that are not conducive to their emotional development and growth, depending on the situation and the people they’re around). Their default is suspicion and light judgment. They’ve got big personalities and even bigger mouths. They’re big AF, I’ve trained German Shepards that were almost to my hip and they are solid beans, even when young and lanky.

They’re VERY high energy and it’s hard to contain that energy properly if they’re not given an outlet. They’re super mouthy and LOUD AF. Seriously, they do not ever shut up. If they’re not barking, they’re whining or vocalizing. They love attention from their person but get very shy or even slightly bitchy if given attention from someone they don’t like or trust. If given the opportunity (and opposable thumbs), they would definitely blow bubbles on an airplane, much to the chagrin of their handler.

They’re also insanely dramatic and they will put on the equivalent of a Shakespearean drama when they don’t like something you’re doing or if they don’t want to do what you’re asking them to do. They’re not compliant, they’re not particularly obedient unless they actually like and respect you.

Because, yes, corgis are super fucking cute and they’ve got great lil fluffy butts.

But they are also agents of pure chaos, manic energy, and complete and utter annihilation.

And, frankly, Phil does not give off that vibe at all. So, for your consideration:

Phil is a Whippet

Whippets are still incredibly smart and can have intense amounts of energy but they’re also gentle, mostly calm, and affectionate. They’re incredibly fragile and fairly adverse to any extreme weather. Prone to several health issues. And they have the air of being only slightly mentally present about 99% of the time.

They’re fairly spacey and goofy, when they tune back into reality, they’re hyper focused (the point where it can be almost unnerving). They’re incredibly intelligent and insanely sensitive but they’re also incredibly independent and don’t really follow “commands” as much as they need you to convince them that what you want them to do is better than what they want to do.

They may seem airheaded but they’re just not fucking listening to you because you’re being boring. They evaluate commands and decide whether or not they want to listen to you. They definitely know their fucking names but they may or may not respond to them based purely on vibes or what whims they’re following that day.

They look dissociated like 90% of the time when indoors (when they’re outdoors and doing things, they’re incredibly energetic, friendly, and take control of most social situations). They’re very princess-y and are incredibly particular about what they like (food, blankets, clothes). They’re big on texture and all differ in what textures they find acceptable. They’re quirky af, they’re incredibly stubborn, and they ARE smarter than you and they know it.

They’re also incredibly anxious and prone to separation anxiety. They do not do well when left alone (yea, they might dye everything in your house green if you leave them for several hours. They might stage a world takeover if you left them alone for months on end). They’re also “velcro” dogs and tend to choose their favorite person in a family.

They’re fucking hilarious and cheeky as hell. They’re far more clever than they let on, often seeming more like a space case than anything else. Many whippet owners complain that they thought their whippet was dumb because they didn’t respond to their name, cues/commands, and often just walked away in the middle of being spoken to but they’re actually so smart that they just get bored of our bullshit and interrupt us to do what they want to do.

For @cysthurtandyoull

They do also have the tendency to stare, unblinkingly at you until you feel incredibly uncomfortable

All in all: Phil IS a whippet.

EACH OTHER OFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!