..

just had a dream I got a computer virus that took the form of a rampaging pixelated gorilla that immediately began to wreak havok across my screen

i didn't know what bonzibuddy was before today. so you're telling me theres a pre-existing waking world desktop malware gorilla but I somehow happened to dream about a separate distinct desktop malware gorilla

damn you guys remember at the beginning of 2021 when we thought it was gonna be a better year than 2020? and then we immediately had the hornet storm? i really miss living on the surface

date of origin: 9th of october, 2021.

there are too many tumblr posts that came true for y’all to be joking like this

why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

alright one sec

hey it says i gotta have my mouth open for this one boss

Thanks to this post I call my dad’s guide dog a disservice dog when he stands directly in my dad’s way when he isn’t working

Your dads service dog is an absolute treasure, kat. I would die for him

You WILL die for him because he is going to trip you

I’d that’s how I die then that’s how I die, he’s still the goodest boy.

Think you mean most hazardous boy

No that’s Tessie. That little terror activity tries to trip us going down the stairs

Retail worker dream uniform

For the past 17 years, an old man has been leaving flowers at each gravestone in a graveyard on Saturday. When he goes out of town in order to meet his relatives he gets kidnapped. The ghosts, upset at losing their favorite human and not ready for the old man to join them go out to find him.

i would love to see modern british people try and build stonehenge today. they couldn’t. whatever it took for them to build something like stonehenge has been completely lost over time 

Not lost over time. Lost to Christian forces eradicating traditional saxon culture.

well if you’re gonna be serious on my funny post i have to inform you that stonehenge was built 3600 years before the Saxons first set foot in england

This vibe is like some tried to correct a clown mid show and they pulled off their wig, mask, and funny clothes to reveal an anthropology professor

we need more masculine clothing designed to show off tits

this was about butch women but im glad u guys are having fun with ur star trek men

i love asking people “weren’t you born in the 1900s” because it makes it sound like they grew up robbing stagecoaches and are on the brink of death and i like seeing that fear and dawning realization in their eyes

Why do you weaponise our inability to understand the passage of time like this.

Heed my words, for I am one of the Ancients. I was born in the 1900s.

Born in the year of our lord 1985 to goodly parents

This is a fantastic way for a student to simultaneously up the word count of their essay and get out of class because their teacher has to go get treatment for that sick burn

Wait...what?

jesus christ.

starting to think people need to prove they can tell the difference between fiction and reality before they’re allowed to engage with any kind of fiction tbh

This is giving me real "it's the 90's and I think the clips of re-enactors on Unsolved Mysteries and Forensic Files is footage of the actual murderers" energy, but like, even stupider

“no i will not elaborate” is such a fun line, but unfortunately i have adhd and am incapable of shutting up. yes i will elaborate

Yes, I will elaborate and that is a threat.

I will elaborate but it won't make anything clearer

Yes I will elaborate but I'll forget my original point after 30 seconds

I will elaborate and make it everyone's problem

i will elaborate (threatening)

the notes are exactly what you expect fandom blogs to say btw

Also men don’t need to be skinny, hairless, or white to wear dresses!!

Funny as that is, this reads as an absolute POWER MOVE to a father not proud of his son. “Look at that, he’s my First Officer because he’s AWESOME. You know who isn’t? You.”

No no no. You don’t understand. Kirk DOESN’T KNOW that this is Spock’s father. He’s talking up his first mate to the Vulcan Ambassador that Spock never bothered to mention is his DAD because their father-son relationship is THAT BAD. This is a power move but it’s not Kirk’s, it’s Spock’s XD

You take one look at that vulcan salute and tell me it isn’t the BIGGEST shit-eating grin

🖖 (derogatory)

That is a man saying, “My eyebrows are pointier than yours, my haircut more severe, my shirt more ironed. You are a relatively minor guest on this starship, while I am the second in command. You said I was a disgrace, yet here I stand. 🖖 Your move.”

Ao3 authors will literally post under any fucking circumstances