Fallen for You

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because my parents joked so many times about returning me to the child store I decided to void the warranty.

Actually the real reason I transitioned was my dad complained about women in golf so much I knew it was a sure fire way to make him stop trying to teach me golf.

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because I'm really supportive of my wife but I wanted to make shopping for their tampons feel less awkward.

Actually the real reason I transitioned was to prove to a point about the ending of the Scottish play to my 8th grade English teacher.

Actually the real reason I transitioned was because slutty shorts for men went out of style and I couldn't give them up.

Have you considered doing standup comedy?

I prefer to sit.

Well then have you considered sit down comedy?

For sure, every time I stand up for open mic night, they says to me "sit back down."

This feels like a fun alternative to "do you want to know how I got these scars?"

I very much also have scars, but everyone knows I got them in an explosion.

idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.

love when someone unironically posts some shit like "bring back cucumbers" they went away??

no but seriously bring back cucumbers

i learned a while ago that the whole "most of the stars we see in the sky are actually already dead because they're so far away that we're seeing them as they were thousands of years ago" thing is a myth because stars live so long that it's unlikely many, if any, of them have burned out yet, but i'm still glad that myth exists because there's just something about the thought of the sky as a graveyard of stars that gets to me

today's reason I fucking love the open source community: Ageless Linux, a brand new Debian-based operating system specifically designed to break the law by giving children access to computers that explicitly refuse to track their age.

reblog this post to help a child break the law

oh goddamn this whole page goes so hard actually, please go read it. what an impressive, visceral takedown of this dumb law

thinking of them. in these trying times

Incorrect bat family quote

Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.

this is my favorite video on the internet

mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet

why did they give this line to the villain

To make it seem like a bad thing to young girls

“If you don’t want to put settling down with a man above Everything Else your just like this monster who wants to skin and wear puppies”

ok!