Freedom's Far From Fleeting

hello I notice that you are attempting to access my webbed site from a phone. did you know we have an app? I will redirect you to the app store so y— oops it looks like you tried to load the webpage again, it's okay I will show you to the app sto— no, no, it's okay this happens all the time, I know you didn't really want to access the actual website on your phone, that's why we have an app! let me take you to the app store where you can download it

"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

all books should be written by deeply damaged autistic perverts

@pangur-and-grim ?

YOU DON'T NEED TO TAG ME ON THIS, I WROTE THE POST

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

Children’s sad beige room but the rest of the house is very colorful and eclectic. That’e just the kind of thing the kid likes and their parents respect that

nails ❌️ hair ❌️ hips ❔️ heels ❌️ ass ❌️ fat ❌️ lips ❌️ real ✅️ purse ❌️ full ❌️ big ❌️ bills ❌️ bitch ✅️ I'm a big deal ✅️

wait. no wait rocky isn't real wait. he's fictional. wait hold on

legs ✅️

It even crashes like a car in a ps2 game

I take most of my community college classes online these days so on the occasion that I actually go to campus in person I’m like dang have nineteen year olds always looked this young? I can’t be getting older, right? Nah.

The older I get the less I understand why some people try to date eighteen year olds. Yeah that’s an adult and I’ll take them seriously and all that but they’re too smooth and polished though. They might not even have experience with making their own doctors appointments. They need two or three more years of life shaking them around in a can.

some of them want to amuse you 😺. some of them want to be amused 😸

My dad used to design kitchens at Lowe’s and one day he got a dude from one of the national labs looking to buy a countertop. Dad sent him home with a sample of a quartz-composite countertop to make sure the color will look good with his existing cabinets. The dude asks my dad what the composition of the countertop is and whether it’ll melt if he puts a pot on it (since it’s a composite and not pure stone) and Dad gives him some rough numbers and reassures him that it won’t melt if he puts a hot pan on the counter. The dude comes back with week later without the sample. The dude gives dad a detailed list of the countertops composition, to the nearest hundredth of a percentile, and the exact temperature it melts at, because he took it to his lab and melted it down. tldr, it’s not just firefighters.

Imagine giving someone a sample of the granite you use to make countertops and they come back a few days later just to tell you they fucking dematerialized it

Ok, but this is just, like, what people do if they have access to equipment. We just… put shit in it. Just to see. At this point, I’ll try and hit just about anything with an arc, just to see. I’ll sand and polish anything you’ll let me, if I’m bored enough. If I had a machine that could melt something down and tell me exactly what was in it? I’d be just waiting for parts of my world to become “trash” so I could de-materialize it and turn it into knowledge of what it was.

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

it's usually morally correct to make fun of the usa but whenever i hear british people do it it feels kinda tone deaf. idk if we have the high ground here guys. its like your mom making fun of your mental illness like ma'am where do you think i got it from.

I know, I also have self esteem so low that accepting a compliment feels physically painful but basically calling the person who’s complimenting you a liar doesn’t help anybody including yourself.

I just wrote 8 pages when I haven't written in months and was beginning to think I'd never be able to again. Idk what it is, but I am sharing and manifesting this energy for every writer who sees this. May you write 8 quality pages effortlessly and find joy writing once more

8 pages you say

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.