White Noise

a lot of the difference is social and vulcans are desperately pretending that this isn't the case while absolutely doing it.

one of my earliest video game memories was my neighbor from down the street burning me a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon onto a CD and giving it to me for free, with the caveat that one day a week he would sit behind me and backseat game HARD. like "build this here, okay now build this here, no not there, HERE, okay now make a path here," etc etc. i never minded it at the time, i genuinely had no idea how to play so i thought he was teaching me. years later i learned that him and his family were Orthodox Jewish and him backseat gaming me was his way of getting around the Sabbath ban on playing video games

sorry

It’s a different thing in the USA we actually have wild animals.

I’m American. I got my degree in West Virginia. There have been 2 (MAYBE 3, it’s a little unclear) verifiable fatal wolf attacks in All of North America since at least as far back as 1900. I promise no doctor is assuming wolves when a patient gets rolled in. That said, this post is just a joke

*person attacked by a werewolf is wheeled into the ER* “it looks like they were attacked by a… very big raccon?”

Santos keeps getting hotter every season im worried its gonna be a exponential curve up and soon the camera won't be able to capture her

*suddenly dead serious* I get so gay off that tequila.

I've seen 3 of the 4 john wick movies and I love how all the dialogue is like. A dude will go like "Is that you John Wick?" And John Wick will go "Yeah..." and the guy will go "You doing some John Wicking tonight?" And John Wick will go "Something Like That..." And the dude will go "Shame it had to be this way" and John Wick will go "I'm Sorry..." and then John Wick caves the dude's head in with a giant wooden mallet. And it rules.

The rest of the dialogue is just outtakes from the Vampire the Masquerade player's manual

when you’re checking the news and it’s gut punch after gut punch, ‘we are so beyond fucked’ type stuff and then there is an article about a truck spilling 2 tons of squid on the road in Rhode Island and you’re like “damn that’s crazy”

“I don’t know if I will ever see peace in my lifetime. I am so scared for the future and so angry at the present. I weep for humanity- 2 TONS? OF SQUID?”

This is why I get all my news from Tumblr, The Daily Show, and John Oliver.

Don’t. I have been spreading misinformation. It was actually 20 tons of squid. Not 2 tons. 40,000 pounds of squid. Astronomical unfathomable amount of squid.

Reminds me of last year when a semi crashed into a creek in Oregon and spilled out 100k live salmon

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

nope. funkytown again

come on

This is one of the funniest noises I've ever heard in my life

for the love of god unmute

Thinking about 13 Latvias again

I need you all to know that I think about 13 Latvias so much that now every time I meet someone from Latvia I have to resist the urge to ask "which one"

In the Latviaverse this is just a normal map